The tale of Noah's Ark is as widely known as a story that includes the destruction of all mankind and a 135-meter boat filled with animal poo.  But, like most ancient chronicles of history, its merits are under scrutiny. Read More »

A year or two ago I had the illustrious job of being a cashier at a movie chain that has now declared bankruptcy and closed down. There were several incidents leading up to my resignation, and this is one of those stories. Read More »

Dear Diary,

I supermanned with salty nuts in my mouth.

Some textual vomit cannot be foreseen. Read More »

All my friends have left, and I am alone in a crowd with 20,000 other people. I could care less though. I've been waiting two hours for this, and I'm not about to leave what promises to be the greatest failure I have ever seen. Read More »

To truly understand where we are going as partiers, we must understand where we have come from. We must enlighten ourselves with tales of belligerence from the past.  We must study the ways of great drinkers before us, for if we do, we may realize that although having a gigantic anchor full of booze may sound like a cool idea, we probably shouldn't use it while crossing the Atlantic Ocean. Read More »

Throughout my feebly short life I've had entirely too much experience drunk dialing. I don’t know what it is about me that makes the idea of ex-girlfriends, Jack-in-the-Box and old hook-ups so enticing at three o’clock in the morning, but even on nights when I tell myself over and over again not to call anyone Read More »