Reasons You Can’t Log Into Netflix Right Now
We noticed in your period tracking app that you’ve missed two months in a row, so we assume that you’re pregnant.
Tag: Guides
The Hippocratic Oath for Preschoolers Playing Doctor
I will always remember my purpose as a pretend physician: to treat the sick. I must also remind the patient of this by whispering into their mouth, “You’re sick.”
NASA Contingency Plan: In the Event an Artemis II Astronaut Is a Werewolf
NASA is almost certain that none of you are werewolves. However, to ensure the safety of our new lunar missions, we must consider every eventuality.
I Cut Out Food from My Diet, and I’ve Never Felt Better
Hot Foods in the Wintertime or Cold Foods in the Summertime: This one’s a real bummer.
Group Zoom Word Problems
What is the probability that at least one participant is both caffeinated and chatty?
Airport Arrival Times for Specific Travel Situations
Try to get to the airport a few days early if traveling during the summer flying season.
Baby Not Sleeping? My Online Course Can Help!
The 2-Month Regression: Your baby is developing so fast! Too fast, actually.
We Are Truly Sorry About This Latest Data Breach
We hired a private detective named Rona Mudberry, who spent several days trying to crack the case before admitting she doesn’t really “get computers.”
How to Leave a Fancy Art Gallery Without Feeling like a Pretentious Monster
Step toward the exit and say, “I’m off to contemplate my own inadequacy in the sculpture garden. It’s performance art in motion.”
Monthly Budgeting for Rent, Groceries, Savings, and 30 Big Nights Out
There’s a secret to eating well on a tight budget. That secret is to not do it.
What Your Drink Order Says About Your Teaching Career
10th-grade math teacher: Once a year, on your birthday, you drink a full pint of vodka, walk into your closet, and scream.
Thank You for Calling 911
If you are calling from inside a vehicle sinking into a body of water, press 9, and a transcript of your final words will be faxed to an address you provide.