Munk

Matt: I wish I could listen to my records in my car, but if I went over bumps the needle would skip and it might scratch the record.
John: What if you replaced the needle with like a laser that read the record but wouldn't hurt it...
Matt: You know what? We've just invented the CD player!
-Reinventing behind the wheel

Munk: I'm glad Obama won, but the next 4 years of punk music are going to suck.
Mike: We could start a punk band, we'll just find something small that annoys us.
Travis: "I love the world, the world loves me, but somebody ate all my honey."
Munk: Congress is fine! The president is okay, but I have a sliver and it hurts.
Travis: At least Anti-Flag will sing in depth about the starvation of some little girl in a country that doesn't exist yet
-Keeping it in perspective

Munk: I'm reading here that the zoo doesn't allow guide dogs in certain areas as it scares the animals; they may view the dog as a predator.
Travis: That's discrimination.
Munk: My question is why would a blind guy want to go to the zoo by himself?
Travis: The smells.
-I guess you take what you can get

Munk: I'm sick of this. I'm a wage slave for a corporate giant, and now they want to take taxes out of my paycheck to bail out other corporate giants. If they go through with this I'm going to start looking for a job in Canada.
Sam: Can I join?
Munk: Totally, we can start a home for fellow disgruntled Americans. We'll help them adjust to free health care and bagged milk.
-On economics and foreign affairs

"Fuck boyfriends, you don't need them. Just stick with your pet rabbit - he'll never screw you over. Well except when he chewed through the cord on your Wii. Okay, let's say he'll never intentionally screw you over."
-Munk, unsuccessfully trying to cheer up a recently dumped friend

Munk: I love Manischewitz, it's cheap, sweet, tasty and kosher.
Kat: Yeah, 'cause kosher is so important to you Jewish Slavic boys.
Munk: Oh it totally is. I wonder how wine can be non-kosher... do they make wine from pigs?
Kat: Maybe it's been blessed.
Munk: Now I have the image of bacon-flavored wine. You know that's not totally disgusting sounding.
Kat: Yes actually, it is.
-On refined taste