Sometimes I have nightmares that I went on Facebook and suddenly decided to comment on every single piece of information that appears on the news feed, regardless of how little I know the person, or how awkward the circumstances might be. Could you imagine commenting on everything from family photos and coworker wall posts, to inside jokes of someone you wouldn't even be able to ride three floors with in an elevator without running out of conversation? I think because of all of Zuckerberg's continuing technology and design changes, we're still in the honeymoon phase of Facebook, where everyone is in denial that THEY are actually the creepy internet voyeur.
Which leads me to my next suggestion for Facebook. I think there should be a way to occasionally remind people that you haven't decided to unfriend them. Like, "Court Sullivan is still friends with Mike Anderson." Some of you are barely saving yourselves from being unfriended with an awesome YouTube video attachment or out of the blue funny status update. That kind of work ethic should not go unnoticed.
I hate it when people comment on something online with a definition or explanation from Wikipedia. First of all, as cliche as it sounds, Wikipedia is NOT always accurate. Second of all, shut the fuck up and stop ruining every joke or trivial mystery! You are impressing absolutely no one. You are the equivalent of the know-it-all who butts into a conversation at a party. Don't try to pawn your party pooping off on Wikipedia either. I don't give a shit if you learned something from the Library of Congress or Adult Swim. Everybody learns something somewhere, know-it-alls included. It's YOU that sucks.
I've shared this Facebook tip already, but did you know that you can use the left and right arrow buttons to scroll through people's photos without clicking? I wonder what percentage of people know you can do that…. I scroll through photo albums so fast these days that it's almost more like playing a movie of the experience than looking at photos. Watch out YouTube, your little "movie" experience is hanging by a thread—I'm starting a new website called Picture-Movie-Slideshow-Just-By-Typing.com.
Actually, that's a funny idea. I should start a directory of websites or something. Has anyone ever done that? You know, like a way to start organizing the internet…?