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The crumbs in my bed sheets, the chocolate smear on my PJs—I don’t know, maybe I wanted to get caught.
When learning how to read an analog clock. He raised his hand and guessed the time was “beer thirty.” It was 11:18 AM.
Let’s pray this doesn't happen a third time. For peace of mind, I encourage you to hug your loved ones, renew your passport, liquidate assets, etc.
SpaghettAI involves unfathomable computing power, a series of data centers in Tuscany, and a gargantuan tub of tomato sauce in the metaverse.
You think my child is a heinous sociopath because she killed your family cat? Ever heard of formaldehyde and Damien Hirst? It's called art.
It goes without saying that when you've sniffed wax with as many husbands in home décor stores as I have, you tend to get jaded.
Fairweather Friend Season commences with the onset of colder temperatures, and/or bird migration, and/or closed-toed shoes.
A few alternative ideas for how to return to your youthful self and satisfy the urge to get back behind the desk.
As the sun sets on the horizon, I use the bottle opener to crack open some ice cold beers and bond with my shipmates.
In 200 feet, check the mirror to ensure your child hasn’t escaped the car seat like a little Gen Alpha Houdini.
Though I’ve never worked in the service industry nor do I know anyone who has, I know that, like all jobs, the head honcho is the daddy.
Scout is as energetic, spry, and sly as ever—the Paul Rudd of lab mixes. What’s his secret? “I sleep sixteen hours a day,” he deadpans.