I no longer wish to ride an aging plow horse. And yet, when I ride to the horse dealer and request a sleek, red mustang, I am met with ridicule.
Wired: Earwigs. Bugs, but heavy metal and down to party. With those pincers you know they’re into some dark shit.
I’m really excited to get to know you better! Where do you live? What are your hobbies? What are you eating right now?
My shadow grows long on the playa, striking fear into the hearts of those who dare utter “Missy Elliot is kinda mid.”
Good news—lantern stuff is done. Borrowed John’s (as in Larkin's) geriatric horse and am headed to Concord now.
Our official recommendation is to stop using your brain immediately. Please take care to dispose of it safely.
James Davis (’20) is the founder and chief creative officer of a conspiracy theory about the Slinky.
Why don’t aliens wear clothes? Because it’s always dark in space.
How many lightbulbs does it take to change a dyslexic.
At the end of the ceremony the priest hit the groom over the head with a two-by-four and the groom in turn kicked the bride in the stomach. We knew it was all scripted but appreciated the effort to make a boring event somewhat amusing.
Remember the opening scene from "The Dark Knight"? That was one of ours.
Tech Check: Celebs reflect on life, love and their rise to the top while being interrupted by their grandfather asking for help with his smartphone.
“This is my friend, Sherlock Holmes. He’s from America.” “Not just America, actually. I’m from Chicago.”
Periodically you might encounter your double. Do not engage, especially for sex.
