We get it, it’s impossible to sit through a movie these days with your “special someone” while keeping the phone untouched. Th…
Periodically you might encounter your double. Do not engage, especially for sex.
Pottery: This one is simple: the night your wife called things off, you drank an entire bottle of wine and "Ghost" randomly started playing on Tubi.
Name: Dick Van Dyke Species: Jerk Physical Appearance: Tall and rude. Personality: Straight white man.
Jump to conclusions why don’t you? I did not lock her in a basement. I’m not a monster. We live in a tower.
Is he “ugly-hot” or does his face bear the mark of an impish, Germanic evil?
Are you looking for anything specific today? Just browsing? Awesome—mind if I watch from the other side of the room?
I’m a recovering workaholic. I haven’t had a job for six years.
Top 5 Worst Places to Be Shot
1. The Gap
2. The hip
3. In line for the waterslide (near top)
4. The Head… and the Heart revival tour
5. During a traffic stop on your way to an interview at The Gap
I’ve been observing nature a lot lately. Trees blowing gently in the wind, birds of all colors singing beautifully, and I’ve got to say: I’ve really found myself… unemployed.
Is it time to overthrow the self-doubt that has plagued your absurd, tender heart for all these months? Subtract eight points if your heart is neither tender nor absurd.
I’m not sure if you are aware that my hands were a little wet when the pickle jar was passed to me.
I’m not very good with computers, could you clarify what you mean by “you somehow attached your son to your previous email rather than your story”?
Soon, I’ll have to decide which to marry. For now, we do a lot of courtship. One of them might stare at me, and I stare back.
