Our Neighborhood Watch Is Just a Guy Holding a Plastic Bag Watching Women Parallel Park
We dispatch a man with a plastic bag (full of loose Arizona iced teas) to stare at her so hard she gets the dry sweats.
We dispatch a man with a plastic bag (full of loose Arizona iced teas) to stare at her so hard she gets the dry sweats.
Consider that if you had stolen a different car (like my neighbor’s Prius, as an arbitrary example) and left mine unharmed.
Course Materials/Payment: Double Baconator with large fry OR Pack of cigs (Camel preferred) OR 6-pack of Miller Lite
If there wasn’t something more to it, I would be pretty bored and not have a good shot at turning it into a series of Pulitzer Prize-winning articles.
Asking everybody to scooch over. Or tilt the city a little bit so that everybody rolls one way.
Better to be in a state of terrified anxiety that your autopilot could end your life at any moment.
The real problem we urbanites face every? The problem of Dominic Toretto and his family of ne’er-do-wells.
Just kinda set the money bags on your knees. I’d tell you to move the gold-plated racquet holder, but it’s welded to the center console.
If you woke up and your partner was an Oscar Mayer wiener, how long could your grief stop you from eating them?
I’m a lover, but that doesn't mean I don’t have boundaries. So I set in place this one simple rule to make sure no one is allowed to disturb me.
Are you fucking with me? Because if you are, I swear to God that, with ZERO hesitation, I will absolutely let you do that.
Bruce: With this very unpleasin' sneezin' and wheezin, she’s revved up like a deuce. Me: Layman’s terms? Bruce: It’s totaled.