I have one rule in life: if you are going to take the time to plough a young lady, make sure to take the time to remember her freaking name. Thus my need for vengeance upon Ramone runs deep, and believe me, he will pay with his ass.
As I realize that my goddess has just become another notch on the bed post of Ramone the Lady Pleaser, I am left with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. How the hell could this be?
Normally I could care less about another person's choice of eating habits, but I'm not sure I could bring myself to have a relationship with a woman who would refuse to swallow my manly goodness.
It is a well known fact that in this building everyone pays the rent, one way or another. I have to pay my rent before I am forced to do something no man should ever have to do. I cannot bear the thought of eating Bulgarian landlady taco.
Halfway down the hall I stop and turn to Darcy. I must clarify what she told me in her office. 'So what you're saying is, it's okay if I watch porn and jerk off at my desk?'
Why did I agree to do this? I don't know the first thing about taking care of a kid. The reason quickly comes to me: this little guy's mom is smokin' hot and I thought it might get me laid.
Look out, ladies! The Man is on the prowl and he's hungry. Hungry for cheap drunken Christmas party ass. And for the first time in his life, he has a foolproof, non-fail plan to initiate conversation with the goddesss Mary of the Office.
Looking down at my feet I can't help but notice that the head of my cock is peeking up through the top of the bubbles that blanket my naked body in the bathtub. But enough playing around, I need to pick the winning entry for my 'Name My Balls' contest.
Turning my back on the horribly offensive sight of my landlady, a light goes off over my crotch. I decide to tease this beast of a woman. "Let her see what she can never have," I devilishly say to myself.
In order for people to transcend into an inner world of greased up sexual bliss they must realize the well-known fact that Wednesday is the only day of the week on which a human being can watch porn at their desk and have total privacy.
'Laugh it up shit sticks, we will see who's laughing when you spend the next five days staring intently at a picture of my balls and ass trying to figure out what it is.'
My computer is connected to the Internet and open to a web page showing a picture of me with what appears to be a trunk hanging from my cock. Oh shit! It's on the Internet. Those unethical fucks at the hospital did post a picture of me.