submitted by DoomRock321
Hi, and welcome to my Reddit AMA! I'm an enormous rock hurtling through space at 25 kilometers a second. I have been on a steady course heading for Earth over the last few months. After the United States' shit show election and a fucking terrible year for just about everything, the time has come for me to slam into your planet and end all life. Ask me anything!
all 34 comments
[-] GuyWhoLikesBigDogs
Hi, Giant Asteroid! Thanks for doing this AMA. So, are you going to smash into any location in particular?
[-] DoomRock321
Thanks for the question! I don't have anywhere in particular picked out just yet, but I was thinking maybe somewhere in northwest Virginia on January 20, 2017? *wink wink* Hahaha, just kidding! It actually doesn't matter – I'm so big you're all dead.
[-] nimblenavigator666
Hey LIBTARD, Trump is going to be the next President and there's NOTHING you can do about it! Why don't you stop crying and GET USED TO IT. No stopping the TRUMP TRAIN! WOOT WOOT!
[-] DoomRock321
You do know what an asteroid is right? Actually, never mind. See ya soon.
[-] writenread
Listen, I know things have been bad, especially with all the gun violence. 2016 may have seen the deadliest mass shooting in American history with 49 people being killed at the Pulse nightclub, and that prick down in South Carolina murdering those people in their church, and Chicago descending into bedlam, but please, we can turn this around! We just need to change the gun laws!
[-] DoomRock321
Ehh, I’m not convinced. Just think of me as one big bullet from an enormous gun.
[-] NoShoesForYou
If America didn't have such a shitty election, would you still be crashing into Earth?
[-] DoomRock321
I've asked myself that question and yeah, I think I would. 2016 on the whole was pretty awful. So many great people already died. Prince, David Bowie, Muhammed Ali, Gene Wilder, Alan Rickman, Leonard Cohen, Carrie Fisher: all dead. Let's just wrap this up.
[-] breakingtad
Wait…Carrie Fisher is dead!? I’ve been on vacation! When did this happen!?
[-] DoomRock321
Yes, Princess Leia is dead. Her mother died the day after, too! Let me just do my thing before you have to suffer the agonizing loss of Harrison Ford, too.
[-] ObiWanton
May the force be with her.
[-] DoomRock321
Indeed. And unfortunately, you folks are on Alderaan.
[-] weather_reporter_guy
Those floods in Maryland, the fires in Tennessee and California, earthquakes in Taiwan and Italy, Hurricane Matthew – were those harbingers of the coming doom?
[-] DoomRock321
Nah. Not related to me. I do my own thing.
[-] EarthAngelBaby88
What about all the beautiful aspects of humanity? What about the compassion, creativity, and love that humans share with one another? Is there no sparing that??
[-] DoomRock321
Well, perhaps…
[-] HIGH_energyCentipede
FUCK YOU, SPACE DICK. GET READY TO SUCK ON MY BALLZ. LOL.
[-] DoomRock321
And there it is.
[-] gocubsgo
Hey, at least I got to see the Cubs win a World Series!
[-] DoomRock321
There ya go! See? It’s not all bad. (Also, sorry Cleveland. I’d say there’s always next year, but…)
[-] GaryTheTruckDriver
Will it hurt?
[-] DoomRock321
It's probably going to hurt.
[-] ViveLaDanse
Is this the United States' fault?
[-] DoomRock321
I shouldn't say, but yes. Like 90 percent yes. Partially Russia's fault, too.
[-] LoveFactually
Does it have to end this way? With an asteroid smashing into the planet?? It seems so violent and cruel!
[-] DoomRock321
North Korea is like a few months away from having a nuke. It’s either me or that. Pick your poison.
[-] TheSnarkKnight55
Is there anything we can do to stop you? Anything we can say to influence you to change trajectory and spare us?
[-] DoomRock321
Are you all still convinced of the current practicality of the Electoral College?
[-] TheSnarkKnight55
I mean, if it's not broken, why fix it, right? Trump won fair in square! I'm not a die-hard supporter, but I voted for him because he's not a politician. We needed change!
[-] DoomRock321
Don't worry, change is coming!
[-] DarthLucas
Can Elon Musk stop you?
[-] DoomRock321
No.
[-] SpaceGeek1000
Can NASA stop you?
[-] DoomRock321
Haha. No.