Producing quality writing is difficult. That's why I write like this.
Obese people love the physical effects of excessive drug use (like how meth and coke can run people down and turn their teethe into nubs) because fat people have to wear their addictions too. Only fair.
When I grow up, I'm gonna own this bar.
Nobody knows the trouble I seen but I have no idea what the hell anyone else has gone through anyway and for the sake of everyday conversation, I think we should all just keep it like that.
When I retire, I'm gonna set up a cot in the back of this bar. And for every year I age, I'll move my toilet ten feet closer to the cot. Eventually, I'll be sleeping right next to the toilet, like I have to do when in jail. That sounds worse than it really will be. I hope.
I like to think of vomit as my body's anti-establishment radical movement. Of course, I also name my really quality craps so that might not mean much.
When this bar finally gets shut down for health violations, I will definitely stop drinking here. Until then, wipe me off another mug please.
Making sense is underrated. I blame women for that.
You know, this bar is more than just a place where I get piss-wasted: it's a place where we all get piss wasted. And that, my dear acquaintances, is a family… type thing.
I don't care what the propaganda machine spits out, no country will be number one until it can offer the majority of its urban citizenry flying bars.
With enough effort and hard work, I could make this bar fly. Of course I hate effort and hard work so there's some stuff to work through there.
It just occurred to me I could have tweeted this whole post.
And finally, because logic and fluidity are busy bribing the health inspector, I leave you with the following, which I overheard in my gym:
"Honestly, as long as I can afford to keep paying his bills, I like him more while he's unemployed. It's like, he can't respect himself so he has to respect me."