The crumbs in my bed sheets, the chocolate smear on my PJs—I don’t know, maybe I wanted to get caught.
SpaghettAI involves unfathomable computing power, a series of data centers in Tuscany, and a gargantuan tub of tomato sauce in the metaverse.
You think my child is a heinous sociopath because she killed your family cat? Ever heard of formaldehyde and Damien Hirst? It's called art.
It goes without saying that when you've sniffed wax with as many husbands in home décor stores as I have, you tend to get jaded.
Fairweather Friend Season commences with the onset of colder temperatures, and/or bird migration, and/or closed-toed shoes.
A few alternative ideas for how to return to your youthful self and satisfy the urge to get back behind the desk.
As the sun sets on the horizon, I use the bottle opener to crack open some ice cold beers and bond with my shipmates.
God, exhausted after having created the sun: “Let’s call it a day.”
“This town ain’t big enough for the two of us,” said Tiny Tim. “I agree, and to be honest, I think that’s mostly my fault,” said Enormous Tim.
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle of petty recriminations, narcissistic fantasies, and repetitive loops of boring shit and predictable disappointments you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.
Fairweather Friend Season commences with the onset of colder temperatures, and/or bird migration, and/or closed-toed shoes.
As the sun sets on the horizon, I use the bottle opener to crack open some ice cold beers and bond with my shipmates.
Scout is as energetic, spry, and sly as ever—the Paul Rudd of lab mixes. What’s his secret? “I sleep sixteen hours a day,” he deadpans.
We know this isn’t the news you wanted to hear, but unfortunately our pool was full of more qualified applicants or people we already know who lived closer.
In 200 feet, check the mirror to ensure your child hasn’t escaped the car seat like a little Gen Alpha Houdini.
Though I’ve never worked in the service industry nor do I know anyone who has, I know that, like all jobs, the head honcho is the daddy.
Scout is as energetic, spry, and sly as ever—the Paul Rudd of lab mixes. What’s his secret? “I sleep sixteen hours a day,” he deadpans.
