Lost Dog: Do Not Chase, Respectfully Acknowledge
If spotted, DO NOT CHASE. Instead, acknowledge his beauty, respectfully. Obviously all dogs are beautiful, but he’s a stunner.
Tag: Editors’ Picks
I Think My Pen Pal Might Be My Dog Trying to Get a Bite of a Ham Sandwich
I’m really excited to get to know you better! Where do you live? What are your hobbies? What are you eating right now?
Does Listening to an Audiobook Count as Reading If I’m Asleep?
Some part of my subconscious is absorbing everything though, right?
Your Bank’s Insurance Application Has Been Denied Because It’s in a Heist Movie
Remember the opening scene from "The Dark Knight"? That was one of ours.
It’s Time for Celebrity Talk Shows to Up the Ante
Tech Check: Celebs reflect on life, love and their rise to the top while being interrupted by their grandfather asking for help with his smartphone.
Excerpts from the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, If Holmes Was from Chicago
“This is my friend, Sherlock Holmes. He’s from America.” “Not just America, actually. I’m from Chicago.”
Don’t Be Nervous on Your First Day of Time Travel Because You Retired Yesterday After Fifty Years and We’re All Going to Miss You
Periodically you might encounter your double. Do not engage, especially for sex.
Rejected Muppets
Name: Dick Van Dyke Species: Jerk Physical Appearance: Tall and rude. Personality: Straight white man.
I’m the Owner of the Little Boutique You Just Walked Into—Good Luck Leaving Without Buying Anything
Are you looking for anything specific today? Just browsing? Awesome—mind if I watch from the other side of the room?
Your Subscription to Humor Is About to Expire
Our value option, the Chuckle Tier, includes smirks, knowing smiles, and obligatory chortles at the wisecracks of uncles.
Never Buy New Kids Clothes Again with Growth Apparel, the Clothes That Grow on Your Child
You'd never know that it is an alive organism, save for the occasional dampness and an appropriate amount of mold that forms on the sleeves.
Quiz: Are You in Love with Your Barista?
Is it time to overthrow the self-doubt that has plagued your absurd, tender heart for all these months? Subtract eight points if your heart is neither tender nor absurd.