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The achievement of seeing the “You’re all caught up!” message on Instagram. / Actually, make that three mosquitos in the shower.
Add “new money” to my Instagram bio. / Start waving the way the Royals do.
9:05 AM: Speed read The Divine Comedy in peripheral vision while sending text. Arrive. Leave.
Take better care of skin. Already looking like middle-aged 17-year-old
Jesus declared, “Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, because of this table I built. See that consistent grain?”
"Sounds like a nightmare. Tell me all about it."
“When we come back…The Rockettes will perform” (They won’t)
There is currently a Starburst-flavored C4 energy drink wedged underneath the brake pedal of my car.
North Carolina, Tennessee, Missouri, Arkansas — A bottle of your signature barbecue sauce (signature must be on bottle)
Paper Clips (Smooth Finish): You know the best jazz bars. Your turntable was designed by a Nasa engineer. You run marathons but don’t appear to sweat.
Body Spray Bay / Strictly Cuddles Cliff / Not-So-Fast Fjord
Thirst-quenching lightly carbonated infused with a blend of tropical fruits enhanced with vitamins and minerals perfectly natural and good for you.