We will not allow the men to firelight us into believing we are too emotional when our toddlers leave on their first hunts.
No need to buy anything for Brayden. You certainly don't know Brayden well enough to know that he's longing for a Mandalorian LEGO set.
Hannah has mostly been good company, except for repeatedly suggesting that she and my son might want to do a few things on their own.
Hey, Officer, don’t look so worried. I’m the best there is. I advised Al Pacino on how to shout “somebody get help” in "Heat."
Sometimes we missed the real world, so we would use the payphone to call our agents, managers, and publicists with the spare change they’d given us.
Oh, I would hardly call what you saw "nudity" or "pornographic movements."
Chef Roberts was trying to open the new tuna can, and his thumb got stuck in the ring.
In relationships I’m like a tech entrepreneur: fail fast and fail forward (into my spaghetti).
Oh, a big powerful plane can fly through the sky but needs a little buddy to push him around on the ground? Pathetic.
“One more time, and this time with filling!” exclaimed the director of Jelly Donuts Gone Wild.
I’m not blaming. I erred as much as anyone, and forgetting my gun at home probably should have been enough to reschedule the whole heist in the first place.
Hey, does anyone have an EpiPen?
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