I finally broke the family cycle of white-collar suffering that stretched back sixteen generations.
Ted counts the number of cupholders in a Toyota Sienna. There are 18. This was not the future he had imagined for himself. He thinks of Paris.
If I was doing such a bad job, you could've told me. You didn't have to set up 183 dining room chairs in a room bigger than your god-damned house.
There’s so much bare, wet skin chafing against me right now I’m having second thoughts about burying that winner.
What’s next, requiring me to carry a regular wallet instead of my trusty burlap sack with a dollar sign on it?
Aeolus gives me a leather sack full of wind, and my guys open it because they think it’s a Market Basket bag full of Munchkins.
12:27 A.M. Chug an entire glass of water. Future You will deal with this. 1:06 A.M. The song “Mr. Sandman” is stuck in your head.
It is so rude to fall asleep during a meeting. It’s like we get it, you “have a life,” you don’t need to rub it in.
If you’re determined enough, everything is a choking hazard.
You can find my writing in my journals, but please don’t.
Lord Craig, why dost thou keep the queue stagnant? Is it not time to order the execution of the pilgrim who insists he has a reservation number?
Back at the wizard’s tower, I’ve got a small team of young apprentices working on Gen-M and frankly, even we’re surprised by its capability.
Each employee should onboard a child for photos. Be discerning in your selection. Children who look both winsome and unmistakably aligned with our hunger initiative are ideal.
I never saw myself as a Hamptons person. I also never saw myself at the center of a scandal on a Bravo reality show, but here we are.
