ATTN: DYNAMITE FOUND IN CAVE. COME GET YOURSELF A CRATE.
Hey, Officer, don’t look so worried. I’m the best there is. I advised Al Pacino on how to shout “somebody get help” in "Heat."
Sometimes we missed the real world, so we would use the payphone to call our agents, managers, and publicists with the spare change they’d given us.
Oh, I would hardly call what you saw "nudity" or "pornographic movements."
Chef Roberts was trying to open the new tuna can, and his thumb got stuck in the ring.
This was the first time I felt like I was witnessing something I shouldn't be seeing.
Funeral guests will be in mourning garb, as will most of the paranormal experience attendees, so you will need to confirm the purpose of the visit.
My knowledge of Greek history is my Archimedes heel.
In my family, we don’t believe in punishing our kids. At least, not until they untie us.
My English teacher always told me “You can’t spell ‘success’ without help.” Because I was a really bad speller.
I’m not blaming. I erred as much as anyone, and forgetting my gun at home probably should have been enough to reschedule the whole heist in the first place.
Hey, does anyone have an EpiPen?
Let me explain how my bespoke packages can help you make your colonoscopy not merely a procedure, but a celebration.
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