What’s next, requiring me to carry a regular wallet instead of my trusty burlap sack with a dollar sign on it?
Lord Craig, why dost thou keep the queue stagnant? Is it not time to order the execution of the pilgrim who insists he has a reservation number?
Time is not my friend. Bacteria from the splinter is multiplying, as I text. I can feel sepsis is setting in. I only have one, two days tops.
To be frank, this email arrives at a somewhat complicated time professionally. Perhaps you heard I was laid off not too long ago.
I’d appreciate it if you listened to my tips for spear-sharpening without sprinting to Human Resources.
Are you too pale? Yes, you are. We don’t even need to look at you; we can tell by your order history.
Back at the wizard’s tower, I’ve got a small team of young apprentices working on Gen-M and frankly, even we’re surprised by its capability.
Three VIPs got washed up on a desert island. Within a few days they’d all had a guided tour of it.
Any restaurant is a drive-thru if you’re a bad enough driver.
I always wanted to be a psychic, but some things just don’t turn out how you imagine.
Lord Craig, why dost thou keep the queue stagnant? Is it not time to order the execution of the pilgrim who insists he has a reservation number?
Each employee should onboard a child for photos. Be discerning in your selection. Children who look both winsome and unmistakably aligned with our hunger initiative are ideal.
I never saw myself as a Hamptons person. I also never saw myself at the center of a scandal on a Bravo reality show, but here we are.
We noticed you’re attempting to exit the burning building. Nice choice! Unfortunately, emergency exits are not included in your current plan.
