It was Halloween, and TheAntelope could not be more excited. Every costume imaginable was there with the word "slutty" in front of it. Nurse? Slutty nurse. Fireman? Slutty fireman. Slut? Slutty slut. Hundreds of people thrilled that they finally had an excuse to dress like a whore and get away with it. Sluts were everywhere.
Including the laundry room.
It's an unspoken party rule that if you do not live at the house in which the party is being held, you may not fornicate in it without prior consent from someone relevant to the area in question. This is why, when randoms were slapping skin in the laundry room, TheAntelope called upon his good friend HorseCock, whose first thought was, "Soooo, should I get naked and say ‘I'm here for the gang bang?'"
TheAntelope's response: "What else would you do?"
HorseCock stripped down to his bare ass. Everyone at the house stopped partying to watch the spectacle. They could hear faint noises coming from the laundry room. Apparently their special guests hadn't noticed the music stop.
HorseCock opened the door…
"Aaahhhh!"
"Naked!"
"Yeah, um, hi–I'm here for the gang bang?"
There was a scurrying of cloth-gathering and hurried bare footsteps.
"Gonna have to touch me if you wanna get past!" said HorseCock, straddling the door's frame.
The guy ran out first holding boxers over his crotch, grinding past HorseCock as he went. This was greeted by raucous laughter. The girl was next.
She squeezed past slowly, her chest region having a particularly hard time getting through.
"Does that count as cheating on my girlfriend?" HorseCock asked as she bolted up the stairs.
Funny thing is, the most prominent memory TheAntelope has from that night was directly afterward, when HorseCock was standing there naked in front of fifty people in complete silence. This should-be awkward moment was broken when from upstairs came, "Shit! I forgot my watch!"
HorseCock still has the watch to this day.
I'm Here for the Gang Bang, Round II
About three months after the original "Gang Bang" story, there was a guy living in TheAntelope's house named TheLlama who was still dating a girl after he found out she had cheated on him multiple times. TheAntelope and his other housemates did not appreciate her company. So, one time when they knew he was tickling her cervix, they once again called on HorseCock to work his magic.
Same scene, smaller crowd. Everyone waited outside as HorseCock crept, fully naked, into the dark room. He reached the violently rocking bunk bed, tore open the sex-curtain and flipped on a light.
"Hi, I'm here for the gang– holy shit!"
No, the Christ had not just defecated.
TheAntelope ran in to see what had shaken the unshakable HorseCock. The room was dim, but through the poorly-hung curtain TheAntelope could see the bodies of four people, three of them girls, and the remaining one TheLlama himself.
There actually was a gang bang.
Turns out TheLlama's girlfriend had been cheating on him with girls, so TheLlama decided to embrace her bi-sexuality for his benefit.
"Fuck this, I'm outta here," said HorseCock, sliding on his boxers and heading back downstairs.
"Fuck it–I'm in," Boulder said. He pushed TheAntelope aside, removed his shirt, and strapped himself in for a one-way flight to Chlamydia Island (motto: great air fares, painful bathroom breaks).
Moral: It's not called cheating if your girlfriend dykes out. It's called awesome.