Danielle: There's no water.
Me: Anywhere?
Danielle: Yes, Nathan, the entire world is out of water.
Me: Seriously, what are you talking about?
Danielle: The pump for the water tower broke and there's like, three or four complexes without any water. And we're one of ‘em.
Me: So, where do I poop?
Danielle: Please don't make me smack you. It's not even nine yet.
Boss: Well, as we all know, the pump housing for this well is conveniently located on the floor in the middle of our offices.
Me: That's sarcasm. It's really not convenient at all.
Boss: And so, tomorrow morning they'll be making a hole in the roof to bring in a crane so everyone can have water again.
Me: That'll make for a safe work environment.
Boss: And that's sarcasm. Because we won't be able to work at all.
Me: Well played.
Danielle: We need you to put another sign on the door.
Me: What do I write for this occasion? In honor of emergency construction?
Boss: No one said you had to honor it.
Property Manager: Would you do me a favor? Would you let me know if you see anyone with a gun? Every store owner in this shop wants to kill me.
Me: Is that why you located the pump in an office, the only one of your businesses that can keep making money without running water for a day or two?
Property Manager: You're getting more cynical. You know that?
Me: I did, actually.
Property Manager: I figured.
Me: Dude, look what I found in the well hole?
Boss: A coke can.
Me: But it says Coke Classic on the can and even has that "original formula" stamp they used to use back in the early nineties to help convince people that New Coke was dead. This is a modern day fossil.
Boss: Modern day fossil?
Me: Or it's a piece of old trash.
Boss: There you go.
Me: I've always wanted to say this: "Bye, I'm heading off to home to work."
Danielle: You're weird.