People get married out of fear sometimes
Because they cannot afford the cost
Of this project known as life.
Problems compound.
Formulas espouse.
Theories are put forth
And moved backwards
Like pieces on a chessboard.
And in the name of the bride and groom
We ask that you please visit their registry
At Super Wal-Mart.
Problems compound.
Formulas stick.
Theories sometimes work.
And the solution presents itself…
And in the name of the bride and groom
We go forth
Finally sure
Of what we must do.
The music plays on and the women cry,
Babies happen and we don't wonder why.
The men in the back room drink their rye
While outside in the rain
Smoking a cigarette and feeling no pain
Is the one known as I.
"Hey man, you're getting wet."
"That college degree wasn't wasted on you, Friend."
"Ah, this fucking guy. He's crazy."
"And I got the papers to prove it, Hoss."