Frosted Flakes > Moist Sugar Dandruff
Cheerios > Tiny Plain Donuts
Reese's Puffs > Single Dad Needs a Win This Morning
Fruity Pebbles > Chewed Up Froot Loops
Raisin Bran > Raisin Bran 2: The Reckoning
Lucky Charms > Marshmallow Appropriation
Trix > Let The Rabbit Die (Cereal)
Cocoa Puffs > Chocolate Milk With Extra Steps
Rice Krispies Treats > Rice Krispies Tricks (You've Been Tricked, Now Eat It)
Cookie Crisp > Literally Stale Cookies
Cinnamon Toast Crunch > Fuck I'm High, Pass the Cinnamon Toast Crunch My Dude. Yo, If This WAS Toast Though, That Would Make My Hands So Big. No, Look, Pretend This is a Real Piece of Toast, That Would Make My Hand As Big As… A Microwave, Dude. I'd Have Microwave Sized Hands, Man. They'd Never Fit Through My Shirt Sleeves. That Would Suck. I'm Fucking Geekin', Man. Pass Me More Crunch.
Capt'n Crunch > Colonel Blood Gums
Honey Bunches of Oats > A Small Amount of Good Stuff Swimming in a Large Amount of Oats
Life > Sure, But is it Worth Living Like This?