Gather ‘round Readers, as I tell you a tale of a more naïve Roxy, a younger Roxy, a little camper Roxy.
It was at All Ages II, a church camp for campers of all ages (not really, just 4th graders to graduating seniors) when Roxy would happen to act in a skit that would affect her in a curious way years later. This skit would be about revenge (I have great timing, I know) and how one should not take that route (unlike me). .
To show off revenge, the three involved, Roxy, Chris*, and Jessica*, would decide that a revenge-seeking-whore would be upset with her friend for forgetting to pay back twenty bucks. The whore would run into the friend and her boyfriend at the park. While the friend goes off to get some water for her and her boyfriend, the whore was going to steal the boyfriend away. Roxy and Jessica, by no fault of Chris, decided to do a coin toss to see who would have to- I mean- “have the honor of” being Chris’ girlfriend for the skit. Roxy ended up as the boyfriend-stealing-slut. She still doesn’t know if that means she won or lost the toss.
The fun part about this skit was trying to figure out how to make the stage kiss look like the short, tiny Roxy was forcing it on the taller, more massive (everyone was pretty much more massive than me at that time) Chris. The result of thirty plus minutes of stage kisses with the inexperienced (some of us are late bloomers) is a laughing, really ticklish girl and a guy who was getting a little tired of having a girl of laughing at him every time he got near her lips. The counselors, who were trying to be as helpful as they could, started in with the suggestions. “Try putting your arm around him and grabbing the back of his neck, Roxanne.” The first time the suggestion was acted out; Roxy ended up on the floor. The second time the suggestion was acted out; both Chris and Roxy ended up on the floor of the chapel with an audience that included her little sister. How many people can say “awkward?”
The next suggestion was something along the lines of “get on the little desk so you don’t fall over anymore Roxy.” That was a great idea! …until someone informed Roxy that she would have to spread her legs so Chris could get close enough to actually look like the two were kissing. Thankfully some one said that the position of the kissers looked to sexual for camp. OH THANK GOD-I mean- Roxy was thankful for the opinion as she felt the waves of relief.
Eventually, they got the whole thing figured out and their skit turned out awesome. Too bad Roxy can’t sit on a counter-top, desk, or table without a slight blush threatening to tickle her cheeks.
And that was why I was blushing last night.
Sincerely,
Roxy
*I either changed their names to protect them or because I can’t remember someone’s name. You can choose the reason this time.
Labels: revenge-seeking-whores, skits, story time