Dearest Dickhead of the Year Award Winner,
I promised myself I wouldn’t delete any comment no matter how evil, lame, violent, creepy, or fucked up. Well I lied to myself. Last night I received another comment from you, Dickhead of the Year Award Winner, which read: “bahaha… fags.”
No, seriously, “bahaha… fags”. It lasted for all of two seconds before I had to take it down. It was a waste of space. Not that the rest of your lovingly crafted comments weren’t also wastes of space, but at least they didn’t royally suck the king’s balls.
Personally, I was expecting more from someone with that many anger issues. I mean really, do you disappoint everyone like that? I was expecting something that might make me want to tear up and go home (so not happening, by the way), not typed laughter and a three-letter word. Oh I’m so scared! Somebody save me from the jerk-off! I mean “jerk-off” as in that the load that would help conceive your lame ass should have been flushed down the toilet on some tissue instead of ever coming near your mother’s body. In fact your dad should have jerked it off, flushed it, took a shower, wash everything thoroughly and avoid the mother for at least a year to prevent this kind of hell spawn. In fact, I would go further to say everyone involved should have had their tubes tied, but that might have prevented some one greater being born.
You may think that this is because I’m upset that you wished deathly ill on my family. Personally I could care less what you wish on my family. Hell, I’ve been known to wish death on family members (but I actually don’t mean it and take the death wishes back). I do care that when you decide to insult me, that you do it with a sense of flair or style. I would like to see high-quality insults from people who don’t generally want to fuck their sisters. I also like critics and bitches. Okay I lied again. I don’t like bitches.
Oh, and Dickhead, I’m (mostly) Swede (as in Vikings), so don’t make me rape and pillage your village.
Sincerely,
Roxy
P.S. I know you wanted your fifteen minutes of fame so badly, I just had to write you a post, one that I will treasure forever and ever just because I have a soft spot for assholes that suck ass. I think it looks hilarious and it gives me warm fuzzies to know that if an asshole can find love like that, who is to say that I, or any other PiC staff person, can’t?
P.P.S. I really was being serious about that whole “stop masturbating to my head shot” thing. The blog is getting a little sticky, and I don’t want anyone to get gonorrhea from reading something I wrote because you let loose your virtual load. So Readers, get yourself checked out for virtual STDs and STIs, because I can not guarantee the cleanliness of this blog.
Labels: comments, dickheads, virtual gonorrhea