Dear God,
What’s up, Lord? How is it up in cloud city? Kids doing fine?
Listen, God, it has come to my attention that you have quite the sense of humor. Really, all the chain letters people will pass just because Your name is in title and not read what the letter is really about is just hilarious in my book. Nothing like reading a chain letter about saving baby kittens with the title: “FWD: FWD: RE: FWD: GOD would NOT ApPrOVe of THiS!!!!!1”.
Did I thank You for the nice turn of events? Really, being in school away from home is a blessing I am willing count over and over again, but, while I’m here, could You get rid of all the romantic feelings? Just until I graduate and I don’t have as much drama going on as it is. Like how about until I have a job a little bit of money stashed away that I can spend money on all the shopping therapy I will need if I do get hurt. Think about, I would be saving the money I have now so I can eat later. I will be able to fix healthy meals so I can live long enough to do whatever it is that I’m suppose to be doing. I wouldn’t worry so much about matching underwear, ‘cause I’m the only one who gets to see it. It’s a win-win; I’m sinning less and You don’t have to listen to me bitch via prayer!
I know it is not place to know what I really need, but I think it would help. If it doesn’t could you please explain to me why I need to go through this? I don’t want to know the whole story, just a little “oh, you’ll meet somebody that you’re going to have to recall this experiences” or “you need to build some more character before I let move on to the next step”. I will tell you this up front, Alpha-Omega, I will be one p.o.-ed chick if I learn it’s ‘cause You thought it was funny.
Thanks for listening and good luck on the apocalypse,
Roxy