If you live on any continent except Antarctica, chances are you’ve been watching a lot more television than usual. Here are some extremely deep cuts to binge when you’ve made your way through literally every other existing TV show.
Ferret Baron (Amazon Prime)
From the assistant cameraman behind Tiger King comes a new, gritty docuseries about Tom Mysterious, a charismatic pansexual grifter who ran the world’s biggest ferret wildlife park before his arrest for weasel trafficking. Featuring dozens of interviews with Tom’s employees, including someone who lost an entire fingernail in a ferret attack, Ferret Baron is truly can-watch television.
Be Mine(d) (Hulu)
Love Is Blind fans will fall head over heels for this brand-new reality show. Twelve sexy singles looking for love are given a chance to find their soulmate, all while working in the coal mines of Whitman, West Virginia. You’ll never guess which guys and gals will find a diamond ring in the rough and which ones die of the Black Lung. Hey, at least there’s a respiratory disease you’re not at risk of getting!
Watch Men (Quibi)
Back in October 2019, the world was gripped by a different pandemic: Watchmen fever! Audiences everywhere couldn’t get enough of HBO’s gripping superhero drama and fans looking for the same mix of intrigue, murder and alternative history should look no further than Watch Men. Centered around the topsy turvy life of independent watchmakers operating outside of the law, Watch Men is….mostly just guys…making watches. It’s boring, sure, but in our current world, watching shows that aren’t actively stressful counts as “self-care.”
Double Jeopardy! (Netflix, Disc Only)
Trivia nerds rejoice! Jeopardy is on Netflix now and since shelter-in-place was enacted, you’ve already watched every episode three times. That’s normal! Why not try watching the official Jeopardy aftershow? Hosted by Jon Heder and one of the white guys from Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Double Jeopardy features discussions about which categories needed better questions and which contestants had the most boring story. It can’t be worse than refreshing the New York Times coronavirus updates page every six minutes.
You’re Killing Me, Eve! (Home Depot Premium)
Not to be confused with the BBC thriller, You’re Killing Me, Eve! is a multi-camera sitcom about the trials and tribulations of the First Couple. Adam is a bumbling gardener just trying to make it to the weekend without inventing original sin and Eve is his trusty, nagging wife with an eye for the finer things. With a laugh track that’ll make you say “hey, remember when gathering in a group wasn’t a matter of life and death?”, You’re Killing Me, Eve! is a show for the whole family to be distracted by.
Fear (Jetstream TV)
It feels like five years ago since Netflix released Cheer, which gave us an inside look into Navarro College’s competitive cheerleading program. Now, Southwest Airlines’ exclusive streaming network takes us back to Corsicana, Texas, focusing entirely on a different group of ragtag misfits—the cast and crew of Halloween Screams, one of the nations’ top-ranked haunted houses. Featuring nearly as many lovable castaways from broken homes, Fear will have you rooting for your favorites to make “floor” and compete in a national competition that has likely already been canceled.
The Altos (Ask Jeeves Deluxe)
If Riverdale is Twin Peaks for teens, then The Altos is The Sopranos for people who barely know what television is. Katie Morigello is a tough but sensitive singer who’ll do whatever it takes to rise through the ranks and make All-State. Surrounding her is a colorful cast of characters, like best friend Rebecca “Becky Big Shot” Finckly, her rival Lisa “Lips” Miller and her choir director Gail “Mrs. Howard” Howard. If you’ve ever wished HBO’s flagship crime drama was set in an Indiana high school girl’s choir and had nothing to do with crime, then this is a show for you.
Fraser (Arby’s® Video-On-Demand)
The Mummy. George of The Jungle. Encino Man. You loved those 90s classics and you’ll likely tolerate Hollywood actor Brendan Fraser’s Kardashian-like reality show about himself. Watch him try to figure out the guitar chords for “Night Moves”, take care of his pet horse (a rescue!) and try a new paella recipe. Kelsey Grammer guest-stars in a special episode titled “Brendan Watches A Cheers Marathon.”
Age of Adaline (Goldman Sachs Network)
Okay, this is just the 2015 romantic drama Age of Adaline starring Blake Lively but look, the world is on fire and there’s only so much content. You might even like it. It’s a good movie. Harrison Ford shows up. Just watch it. Or don’t. It’s fine. I’m gonna go call my mom again.