First dates can be extremely nerve-wracking, especially if you’re being hunted by a vengeful undead gold prospector. Here are 11 questions to avoid at all costs to make sure date number one goes smoothly.
“What was that?”
You finally worked up the courage to go out with that super cute guy, Darren, who keeps messaging you on Tinder and things are off to a great start. He brings you to a super romantic restaurant for a candlelit dinner. It’s in an old mine shaft from the late 1800s that has been converted into a super exclusive high-end restaurant.
If you hear a strange noise off in the distance, never ask your date, “What was that?” It takes the focus off the two of you and shifts it to something ominous off in the shadows of an abandoned mine shaft. It’s a total mood killer.
“Is he dead?”
When you find yourself at a loss for words upon finding the dead body of your waiter, Miguel, hanging from a meat hook inside the walk-in freezer, try to avoid asking obvious questions to fill that silence. It may seem like a valid conversation starter, but don’t feel like you have to fill every moment of the date with wall-to-wall conversation. Silence can be a good thing. It can allow you to gaze into each other’s eyes and connect on a non-verbal level.
Plus, the razor sharp hook piercing poor Miguel’s chest is a dead giveaway.
“Who did this?”
Obviously, somebody wasn’t listening when Darren told you these mines are rumored to be haunted by the vengeful spirit of an old prospector who’s body was never found when the mines collapsed in the late 1800s! Not listening can be a huge turn-off. So stay focused and attentive!
“How are we going to get out of here!?”
The freezer door slammed shut and the two of you are now locked inside with a limited air supply. Talk about awkward! Try to avoid making things even more awkward by asking your date a question that he clearly doesn’t have the answer to at this moment. It may give him the feeling of being put on the spot and judged if he doesn’t have the answer right away. It literally just happened! Give yourselves time to figure things out. Are there other exits? Tunnels? Ventilation shafts? Once the situation has been fully assessed, questions like this become more appropriate.
“Where are you?”
Darren may have disappeared while you two were escaping through the ventilation shafts, but this is only night one of (hopefully) many. You don't want to appear too clingy right off the bat. Let him do him. He’s probably looking for another escape route. Or maybe he's buying you jewelry!
“Why?!”
Uh-oh Darren’s dead! Screaming “why,” while sobbing uncontrollably may feel like a completely reasonable human response after discovering your date’s lifeless body, but its never a great idea to get overly emotional on a first date. Keep it easy-breezy girl!
“How could you do this!?”
Chances are, the undead prospector will sneak up behind you while you’re cradling the body of your recently deceased date. This will leave you face-to-face with pure evil. Millions of questions will race through your head. Try to avoid this one. Your date may be dead, but ignoring him to confront his undead killer will surely make him feel like a third wheel. Talk about a big no-no!
“What’s going on!?”
Turns out Darren isn’t dead after all and the undead prospector was just Miguel wearing a dirty old prospector costume. Yikes!
It may seem like this was all a ruse to lure you to your death, but don’t jump to conclusions just yet! It may be a fun set-up to a super romantic surprise! Demanding an explanation will make you seem like a wet blanket. Remember, he may have snuck away to get you jewelry!
“How many other women have you brought down here!?”
Okay, so you’re tied to a pole surrounded by the remains of lots of other women. This was definitely a ruse to lure you to your death, but it’s never a good idea to ask about past relationships on the first date. This isn’t an interrogation, it’s a date. Always try to keep things light and fun even in the face of certain doom!
“Looking for something?”
Great, you were able slip out of your restraints and secure a box of matches carelessly left on a nearby table! These will be a huge help in your daring escape, but if you know the answer to a question, don’t beat around the bush. Be up front with your date. He’s a psychopath, not a mind reader!
“Do you want kids?”
Having kids can be a total deal breaker when it comes to choosing a partner, but when it comes to choosing a clever final line to say to your date before setting the mines ablaze with him and his loyal manservant still inside as you successfully escape through a secret tunnel, honey, this ain’t it.
Try something strong yet flirty, like, “See you in hell asshole!” It lets your date know that he deserves to burn in total damnation for all eternity for what he’s done while also implying that you would be open to meeting him there for a fiery hot second date!