8 Facts About Water Coolers That Will Wow Your Coworkers

Water coolers are an essential part of American life. But how much do you really know about these kings of office corners? Read on for eight facts about water coolers that will have your coworkers spit-taking all over the kitchenette floor.

1. Water coolers have been discovered at several ancient archaeological sites, dating as far back as 1600 BCE. One such site also includes a drawing of a man slacking off in front of his stela and subsequently being executed.
2. The term “water cooler” comes from the German vunterkueller meaning ”reprieve from boredom.” The term came into American usage after President Woodrow Wilson talked about his moisture wicking suspenders for 3 hours straight during a diplomatic meeting with German Chancellor Georg Michaelis.
3. The 1982 hit song “Rosanna” by Toto, commonly believed to have been written about Rosanna Arquette, the actress daughter of Patricia and David Arquette, is actually about David Paich’s childhood water cooler, a Glacier Bay 5 Gallon Hot, Room and Cold Water Dispenser. Paich nicknamed the watercooler Rosanna, which unfortunately met her end in an accident during Paich’s parents’ move from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara in 1980.
4. A study by the Harvard Business Review found that offices with water coolers were 16% more hydrated and 22% more likely to know why Linda’s been taking all of those long lunches lately.
5. The Office’s (U.S.) water cooler, The Avalon 3-Temperature Self-Cleaning Bottle-less Water Cooler, was personally recruited by Greg Daniels. Greg had met The Avalon 3-Temperature Self-Cleaning Bottle-less Water Cooler during his SNL years when it was cast for a sketch during an episode hosted by Steve Buscemi. The sketch was cut for time, but The Avalon 3-Temperature Self-Cleaning Bottle-less Water Cooler still attended the cast party and became lifelong friends with several of the writers and performers, despite leaking all over Ana Gasteyer.
6. Water coolers work by harvesting moisture from their surroundings and then multiplying it via reverse osmosis. This was discovered by Gottfried Leibniz, though the discovery is often credited to Isaac Newton.
7. In the U.K., all palace water coolers must have gold and silver levers, for hot and cold respectively, because the Queen considers the typical red and blue to be gaudy and plebeian. Royals on official outings may only use traditional water coolers if the Queen is not present.
8. Some religions ban the use of water coolers because they consider the large bubbles created during dispensation to be carnal and immodest. Some more liberal practitioners get around this by shrouding the jug, often with white cotton or linen cloth.