Even Younger Sheldon — CBS
This show goes back a little bit further in the story of everyone’s favorite eventual protagonist of The Big Bang Theory. What sort of hi-jinks will Baby Sheldon get into?
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
SHELDON’S MOM
Come quick! I think he’s about to say his first word!
BABY SHELDON
Ba- bazinga?
Cue the laugh track for six full minutes.
Season 9 of Game of Thrones — HBO
The next chapter in the story that captured the imagination of millions. And also we’re sorry.
EXT. WINTERFELL – UNCLEAR IF IT IS DAY OR NIGHT AS EVERYTHING ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE INCREDIBLY DARK EITHER WAY
JON SNOW
My, what a strange dream that all was. Come, Daenerys, let us embark on this final journey through which we can both remain aligned with our previous character traits while also solving lingering questions regarding those around us.
John Mulaney Orders Coffee — Netflix
Follow the charming standup on his quest to order a cup of coffee somewhere in Manhattan without disaster.
INT. HIP COFFEE SHOP – DAY
BARISTA
And would you like whole milk or almond milk?
JOHN MULANEY
Almond milk? ALMOND milk?! Almond milk is like the less cool younger brother of the coolest guy at your high school. It’s always like, hey, we’re all going to go to the movies – but I have to bring my little brother, Almond Milk, along. No one really wants it there but it always seems to show up anyway. Almond milk is the “me” of milk replacements.
Barista pauses for a beat, about to speak when PETE DAVIDSON kicks through the window of the coffee shop.
Sweet Life — CW
Capitalizing on the hot trend of nostalgia-infused reboots, crossed with the gritty and addictive style of Riverdale, the CW brings you: Sweet Life. Dylan Sprouse leads the continuation of Disney’s Zack and Cody. Zack has grown up to be an opioid dealer outside of Boston known only by his alias, Sweet.
EXT. DARK BOSTON ALLEY – EVENING
Rain is pouring down onto the monochromatic street. Angle on SWEET (Zack) as he preps for another transaction.
A YOUNG WOMAN hurries down the alley towards him, face hidden by a raincoat and umbrella.
YOUNG WOMAN
Let’s keep this quick, I don’t need anyone knowing I was here.
SWEET
That’s why people come to me.
YOUNG WOMAN
Good.
SWEET
Your voice…it’s so familiar…
The young woman glances up to meet his eyes. It’s LONDON TIPTON.
LONDON
Z…Zack? I wanted to believe the rumors weren’t true –
SWEET
London, do me a favor. Get out of here. I can’t sell this to you. You don’t want any part of this.
LONDON
Don’t back out on me now. You’re a coward. You’ve always been a coward.
London stuffs a wad of cash into Sweet's hand.
LONDON
Now give me what you owe me.
SWEET
What’s happened to you? What’s happened to all of us?
London grabs the bag from his hands.
SWEET
Fine! You’ve won.
A beat. Then:
LONDON
Yay me.
Hard cut to black.
CSI: ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICES
Enough with the fast-paced action from the streets of Miami and cyber crimes division—take a look at the folks that keep all the moving parts in place in CSI: ADMIN.
INT. DRAB OFFICE – MORNING
SUSIE
Hey, where’s McClean? He’s late, again.
TOM
That rookie? He’ll never learn.
MCCLEAN, the department’s hotshot new Finance and Tax Assistant, enters in aviators with a tray of coffee in hand. He places the coffees down onto SUSIE’s desk and winks. She rolls her eyes.
MCCLEAN
Hey, Tom, lemme take a look at that project from yesterday.
TOM
I’ve got it all under control, McClean. I’m sure I’ll crack it in no time.
McClean sits down at Tom’s desk and starts typing.
TOM
It’s locked, you punk.
MCCLEAN
(smirks)
I’m in.
Tome and Susie exchange exasperated glances.
MCCLEAN
Ah, there’s your problem…you didn’t carry the one here.
MCCLEAN kicks his feet up on the desk, satisfied.
TOM
What the hell, man? I’ve been trying to figure that out for a week.
Angle close on McClean as he removes his aviators.
MCCLEAN
Looks like this sheet…is finally balanced.
Cue intro music and title card.
American Horror Story: 2020
Literally just the next election cycle.