The Queen’s Gambit was a surprise hit, given that it’s about a “sport” that is supremely nerdy and boring. Gone are the days where we associate chess with socially inept acne-covered valedictorians! Turns out a stunning female protagonist with a chic wardrobe and an ultra-cool substance abuse problem can make any game awesome. Unfortunately, it doesn’t make the game any easier.
So here are a few other games you can play after watching The Queen’s Gambit; games that your dumb little brain can actually understand, especially whilst high out of your mind.
Jenga (on Ganja)
While Jenga certainly doesn’t require as much strategy as chess, it is actually quite difficult to play after hitting that good shit. Basically, you stack a bunch of wooden blocks and then try to pull them out one by one without making the tower topple. You don’t have to visualize your moves on the ceiling, but this game does take a lot of hand-eye coordination and you CAN’T let yourself get distracted by how good and smooth the wood feels. Pretty tricky!
Connect Four (on Shrooms)
This is a simple game in which you drop disks into a grid and try to get four of the same color in a row. But watch out, the grid is melting! It’s melting into the floor! Quick, eat the pieces! They look like they would taste so good. Put them in your mouth! Oh, you lost.
Checkers (on Ketamine)
Checkers is known by some as the Dumb Man’s Chess. It has basically the same board as chess but the players are flat and round instead of 3D and fun. They’re nice though, they’re all symmetrical. The goal is to capture all your opponent’s checkers, and once you do that, a man appears. He’s a nice man with a loooong white beard. You reach out and touch it, and it’s so soft, and then he vanishes into a thousand dandelions. This is a nice game.
Uno! (on Coke)
Uno! is a super fun game that’s really really easy once you get the hang of it, there are a lot of bright colors and you have to be the first player to get rid of all your cards but you can’t just put them all down oh no no no you have to draw a card and sometimes it’s regular but sometimes it’s a WILD CARD which is super super super fun it means all the players can go wild hahaha just kidding actually this does require some concentration maybe this was the wrong drug to take for playing Uno!
Dreidel (on Molly)
A classic Hanukkah game, dreidel involves spinning a top and getting chocolate, or sometimes money, or sometimes chocolate in the shape of money! You can watch the dreidel spin, and you can get up and spin with it! Whoa dizzy. Spin and spin and spin and share your earnings because you’re just full of love and gratitude. It’s getting so hot in here. This game will bring back so many fond memories of your childhood. It will do this for you, even if you’re not Jewish.
Candyland (on Acid)
Soooo many pretty colors! Oh wait… this is just a blank piece of paper. Put it in your mouth!