If You See Something, Say Something

If you see something, say something.

If you don’t see something, don’t say anything. No need to dominate the conversation if you don’t have anything interesting to share.

If you see something, say something. If, while you’re saying something, you realize that what you saw wasn’t really something—it was just like, an optical illusion, or a bird, or whatever–then just keep talking. Everybody is already bought in, and it’s not like we’re going to fact check you.

If you see Hamilton, let me know how it is.

If you see something, say something, but if you see it again, say something different. Talk about the weather or a book you just read. We get it, you saw something. Move on.

If you see something, call your congressman. It’s really easy. It only takes five minutes, and it’s important that you play an active part in our democracy.

If you see something, don’t say anything—take a picture and share it on Instagram! Add some fun text and emojis. This is how you build your personal brand, and eventually, get paid to wear a designer’s sneakers, and say things like, “Just kickin’ it!”

If you’re seeing someone, say something. I’m interested in your life and want you to be happy.

If your friend sees something, say something. Steal their story. Gaslight your loved ones and make them believe that the story was your own. Eventually, your friend will try to claim that it was they who actually saw something—but by then, it will be too late, and you will have won.

If you see Hamilton, let me know how it is. I enter the lottery every day, but I haven’t won yet.

If you see that she sells seashells by the seashore, then feel free to buy some, because by the looks of it, those are some fine looking shells.

If you can see clearly now because the rain is gone, for the love of God put your umbrella away. You just said that the rain is gone. Now all you’re doing is taking up too much room on the sidewalk.

If you seed something, say something, so we don’t step on your soil and ruin all of your crops.

If you see my dad, please, say something to me. He left for cigarettes a few years ago and hasn’t come back yet.

If you see something, say nothing, because you didn’t see nothing, capiche?