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Whereas politicians say lies, trains say only “choo-choo” and “chuga-chuga” and “stand clear of the closing doors, please.”
For approximately 134,000 of my New Brunswick neighbors and others across the globe, I became the face of workplace sexual harassment.
3. Bargaining: “Maybe if they make some goofy videos it’ll make up for the shitty songs, right? I mean, come on, it works for OK Go."
Take Time To Ideate: Commune with your butt on the shape and altitude you’d like to achieve together.
I Love My Car Package: This package is specially designed for those whose 16th birthday was the greatest moment of their life.
HELLOOOOO! Hope you brought the peanut butter, because that my friend was a mouthwatering jam!
"Is this because you just lost your job? We’ve been through this, you’re an excellent reporter and they had no right to fire you! You won a Pulitzer!"
"I set a goal [NUMBER OF YEARS THE TEAM HAS BEEN TERRIBLE] ago and I was determined to give it [CLICHÉ FROM MOTIVATIONAL KITTEN CALENDAR]."
“Am I in the spam folder? I gotta get out of here.” “WARNING: YOUR HOUSE IS INFESTED WITH HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA.”
Millions tuned in to watch Jimmy Stewart’s body rocket down the mountain, reaching a top speed of 90 MPH and securing the bronze.
Pour the contents of "Berries in a Blender?! Whaaaaaat? Berries in a Blender!©" puzzle bag into a blender and pulse for a second for an easy puzzle.
The Tar Pits Behind Third Base Have Been Filled In: The nostalgic need not worry; the sickening smell of sulfur still permeates the entire stadium.