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Wetland restoration is about creating a clean, oxygen-rich pit so that a seven-headed behemoth might emerge from its depths and enslave us all.
None of my fellow parishioners have invited me to partake in a communal sexual ritual to awaken the dead, or place a hex on targeted politicians.
“My heart hasn’t really been into scaring him lately, he’s such a good kid, and I was getting pretty bored down there. So I bought the phone."
Unfortunately, as you know, I want to rub my penis on everything in sight. I'm like 85% of men in show business: I'm a monster.
You're probably wondering, what sort of management skills does this guy have to run Tesla? Rest assured, I'm just like you: all over the place.
D.C.:Nevada, do you know what you’re going to go with? NV: The Silver State! D.C.: California? CA: Ahem: The Golden State. NV: Aw, dick move, man.
Helen, Please call me Kenn. I spoke to my wife about the "situation." I feel like the least I can do is let you know what happened.
Suicides contemplated: 24 That’s 2 better than last year. Thank God we re-installed the AC. AMZN Note: EMPLOYEES WHO COMMIT SUICIDE WILL BE TERMINATED
“Love is love is love Fun is fun is fun Wake up, stretch like a cat” Oh god. He’s taking out a knife.
You probably want to spend one episode on how I was a loving husband and good friend who did nothing to deserve this, whatever "this" ends up being.
Is there any way to make the heartburn shoot actual flames out of our mouths? That would be a nice party trick.
DON'T: Try bullet journaling. Look, you can't even keep up with a pre-crafted planner, you think creating your own will go any better?