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My girlfriend Mary Lou always told me to stop twirling my mustache and tying her to train tracks, but I never really took it seriously, you know?
Rest assured, students do not learn teleportation until their fourth year. We had some minor issues with spontaneous combustion in the past, which is why we pushed it back.
I wonder if my indoor sunglasses and the giant jug of orange juice betray my hangover? The glare from Sister Beatrice indicates yes.
Does metabolism really have anything to do with taking off your shirt, screaming "I want to feel alive!" and diving face first into a 360-degree twisted tube slide?
Mere moments after meeting her, she begins choking violently. A quick Heimlich produces an unsettling amount of used condoms. YES / NO
Whether you're getting through a tough breakup, have low self-esteem, or just lack self control, Feel Good Grub is perfect for piggy little stress eaters like you.
This time I'm really going to buckle down and clean up my digital clutter. But not before I add some dream vacation spots to my Pinterest board.
DOCTOR: First, your brain. It’s no good. You have a condition known as neuromaniacosis. It means you whine too much.
Though amphibians aren't really reptiles, I've lumped them in because there doesn't seem to be a discernible difference at a glance, so they might as well just be reptiles.
The comfortably structured contour-caressing nap of the Twerkini cover-up transforms motion into electrical energy, helping to charge cell phones.
Flooded basement? Fashion purveyors Marque de Mode have you covered with some simple tips to get your basement dryer than a martini at Café Montague.
Every so often, abused dogs invade your television screen soundtracked by Sarah McLachlan's ubiquitous "In the Arms of an Angel." These are their stories.