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Here are just a few of the many ways that I, Adam Duritz, lead singer of the Counting Crows, am equipped to run for president of the United States.
My son is dating a Calvinist and there’s just no way in hell she isn’t going to think our family’s unrelated ban on dancing is anything but blatant pandering.
Like you, Mr. President, I'll do whatever it takes to win. Have you seen the footage of my landslide victory at the watermelon eating contest?
Why are you in a black bodysuit again? And what's up with that helmet? Why do you wear a mask anyway, Mr. Mystery?
My Gap skinny jeans might make me look young, but my rapidly aging prostate constantly reminds me that I’m not.
Instagram Captions (formerly known as "Poetry"). More often than not just prose with unconventional line breaks.
Do you feel out of step with the rest of the country? Are you still clinging to those liberal values of human rights and free speech? We can help!
You shall witness a heart shape on the monitor, surrounding you and your beloved. And you shall kiss. For I have commanded it.
Whether you’re hitting up deadmau5, Crystal Castles, Com Truise, or your local heroin dealer's latest DJ attempt, we have a few choice millennials for you.
"How is he going to keep my attention for 815 words?" is what I assume you’re thinking. Luckily for you, I’m just the person who can answer that question.
I’m sitting at work, swiping right like I have a muscle spasm and three women have gone by when I begin to ask myself, was that Megan?
Led by charismatic, one-armed Gethin Bedwyr, OctoFanggz combine swirling psychedelia with a somewhat severe German burlesque, sung entirely in Portuguese.