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Would people describe you as: A) a creative free-thinker with an "outside the box" mentality, B) a process-oriented manager focused on the big picture, or C) a cranberry farmer?
If we slept together and haven't spoken in over two months, please throw my number in the trash. Otherwise, please refer to this guide for appropriate actions.
Kids, there is never a good time to say this, but since it's Father's Day and you're both standing here without rolling your eyes for once, I guess now is good enough: we're divorcing you.
When you think of a 1994 Dodge Neon, the first word that comes to mind is probably "raw power," right? Well that's exactly how this guy drove his: raw and powerfully.
We see them on television, and we hear about them from our friends who got updated about them on Facebook--which, at this point, may as well just be called MyTragedyUpdate.com.
I've always wanted to donate my body to something greater than myself. But I need assurance that my penis will not be the subject of any sort of entertainment or fun.
There are plenty of unknowable mysteries about life. But one thing we do know is that no person has ever been created to slice another person's forehead with a hatchet.
First comes shock and denial, as it just keeps rolling around the plate, inviting a game of cat and mouse. Except here, it's not a game, it's REAL LIFE.
Republicans have demonstrated unflappable stoicism in the face of foreign attacks, unparalleled corruption, and looming constitutional crisis. How would they have fared with historical events?
One listen to HIM, the Finnish lords and saviors whose hit single "Killing Loneliness" contains the secret to living, and Gloom's gospel will quickly unmask the jolly tendencies you maintain.
It frustrates you to know I get laid more than you. I have chicken legs and a cartoonish beer belly. I have a hooknose and my eyes are a bit too close together.
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