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You've just eaten an entire bag of Doritos out of self-pity while touching yourself in a naughty place and crying for the LAST TIME, because this guide is all about discovering the COOL YOU.
When I think of food, I don't think of a rectangular chunk that looks like a gargoyle with a square asshole shit it out. Or a meal that looks like a bunch of scabs swimming in a puddle of whale semen.
The combination refrigerator and freezer thought the oven was pretty fucked up. Then again, they were always judging other appliances; especially new appliances.
Since I am a de facto dude, and since Chuck Norris is a first-ballot dude Hall-of-Famer, I'm going to explore the future of Chuck Norris statements of superhumanity.
On the first day of class, I was brimming with excitement. I woke up at ten o’clock and started running around my house trying to stir up some enthusiasm for morning cocktails.
The numerous techniques in today's pornography and how they're making us cold towards the act, making it mechanical, taking out the feeling, treating the vagina like a well-oiled plastic bag with legs.
The numerous techniques in today's pornography and how they're making us cold towards the act, making it mechanical, taking out the feeling, treating the vagina like a well-oiled plastic bag with legs.
A community fee of $500 is due at the lease signing. This covers use of the STD-filled cesspit we call a pool, rusted out 70's gym equipment, moth-infested laundry center, picnic areas, and other facilities.
Tim Cook, in taking over for Steve Jobs as CEO of Apple, the most successful company on Earth, reveals a startling revelation about what would have happened had we defaulted on our national debt.
Everything you need to know to gain the approval of your boss, that random couple on the sidewalk, the cyclist holding up traffic, and your cigarette smoking nephew.
Portrayal of the Great British public in American media has improved lately. So when I see one of my countrymen letting the side down, it makes me want to club them over the head.
I'm back in school. Again. School by the way drives me fucking insane. For instance, who the fuck names these buildings? 'And on the right is the Dennis Anderson Grave Digger Monster Truck Hall.' Oh neato!