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Roger Goodell has done terribly gay things to the NFL, and I think it's fair to conclude that in the upcoming years we're in store for a lot more pussy shit from him.
In the battleground that has become my front yard, a relentless hole-digging monster works diligently under the cover of darkness to make me look foolish.
By the beginning of the fall semester, or 'cunting season,' the prospect of going out on a Friday night seems like a chore. Eventually, everyone plays right in to their stereotype.
I'm a bitter, resentful kind of guy - an arsehole some would say. And while it would be remiss of me to cast all blame for my sourness onto Britain, I'm going to do it anyway.
In light of recent romantic failures, I've decided that every guy I meet and think I might want to go on a date with will be required to go through a screening process.
I am perpetually stunned by how vapidly stupid the parents of smart children can be. Here is a list of the 10 types of parents I despise the most.
"The most important document to emerge from a computer since The Golden Rules of Instant Messenger." -Mark Zuckerberg, Founder and CEO of Facebook
Congratulations, of all 32 NFL teams, you decided to cheer for the Oakland Raiders! As a long-time Raiders fan, I've created this guide to help accelerate your assimilation into the Raider Nation.
Arbitrary waiting has become my drug. I feed my addiction by going to grocery stores and lining up without anything to purchase. Sometimes when I'm really hurting I go and camp out for the next Harry Potter movie.
A look at the ways I failed to cope with boredom and loneliness in the vacation weeks leading up to the start of my college career.
Ten ways to spice up your life using the unexpected to your advantage, including a vacation to North Korea and a simple church bombing!
Over the years, I have become rather fond of certain customer support complaints; not because of their merits, but because some have been so monumentally and dangerously stupid.