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There are a lot of bad things that can happen to people in this screwed-up world, but there's nothing worse than discovering your hamster is contaminated.
Mr. Cook, I can no longer sit back while your egregious blunders defame the good name of those around you. Especially the illustrious Dennis Rodman.
We, the people, are the drunk chick at the bar. We are expected to do very little, except pick the politician who promises us the best stuff, and then get fucked by him later.
Are you a tool that no one would dare be seen with? Do you show up at parties and stand there talking to no one because you’re a creeper? Well stop living in the past and add some Limp Bizkit style to your life. You can start by doing everything for the n
Throughout my life I have had many goals: soccer player, good student, drummer, gym teacher, guy who toasts bagels, etc. But I now see my life as having been misguided because now I know for sure that I seriously can't wait to break your arm.
Why the hell does Columbus get a holiday? Hey, Columbus, you bastard, did you realize America was already discovered by the people living there. It didn't need discovering!
Dear Timothy Williams, we regret to inform you that your wish will remain just that: a wish. And wishes don’t come true, Little Timmy. Hey, life is unfair.
There's a new breed of Brazilian supermodel warriors who actually read and study something other than women's magazines--computer programming and existential thought to be precise.
HorseCock stripped down to his bare ass. Everyone at the house stopped partying to watch the spectacle. The practical joke was about to commence...
I think it's safe to say that agreeing to be the drummer for this Poison tribute band is easily one of the worst life decisions I've ever made.
How does dating work? Do they look for one guy they both find attractive, or two separate guys? What if one doesn’t find the other’s boyfriend attractive, can she object to sex?
I did it bitches. Set your iPods to "repeat" because I just meloded all over you with my first and last sweet techno beat, and am now announcing my retirement from the industry, effective immediately.