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Thank goodness the Republicans nominated you, a WOMAN, as the vice presidential candidate! It’s such a relief to toss aside my personal beliefs and blindly follow you and John!
I should just expressly state my purpose here: I intend to pursue any type of sex act with That One Girl From Clarissa Explains It All (I believe it's “Clarissa” actually).
Sorry to hear you've been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. But since you won't remember anything I write in this letter, let me take the opportunity to reveal how much I've always despised the elderly.
Six conversations college students would have in everyday life if daytime drinking wasn't so heavily looked down upon, from dealing with cops to potential employers.
To me, Applebee’s represents the muddling down of all cultures, to create meals that cater to everyone, and in doing so satisfy no one.
To put it mildly, Sarah Palin makes me want to lay pipe in Alaska. And if she's not up for getting freaky the Washington way, let’s hope her pregnant daughter is.
There’s a lot of things going on in the gym. It can be a confusing place, especially for fucking idiots. For example, taking a leak in the shower is OK; jacking off in there is NOT.
Cringe your face, roll your eyes and squirm in your seat to poems like "The Vomit Look," "Erection at a Funeral" and "Sorry I’m Late, There was Heavy Sex Traffic."
I’ve gotten a bad rap for what I’ve said about rabbits, but it was completely misconstrued. In fact, some of my best friends are even rabbits.
Sophomore Lance Williams, widely considered beer pong’s top prospect, inked a three-year, $12 million deal with campus fraternity Omega Tau Beta..
Relieve overburdened employees and join the growing volunteer program at grocery stores everywhere: the self-checkout line!
Is it possible to rock a hooker’s world? Could I get a hooker to pay me? Only way to find out is to put my penis to work in one.