Comedy Articles

Guide to Writing an Effective and Concise Opening for a Short Story While Being Concise

As a writer, I have discovered a number of techniques to ensure the opening of your short story engages your audience while propelling your narrative forward at light speed. It is my pleasure to share these techniques with you in what I call 'The Three Se

by Caleb McEwen
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November 10, 2008
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8

Ulysses S. Grant Challenges Jefferson Davis to a Duel

Ulysses S. Grant responds to Jefferson Davis' threats of a renewed Separatist Movement in the South by getting drunk, riding straight to South Carolina and challenging him to a duel. But not before passing out in his own vomit.

by John Gillespie
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November 7, 2008
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5

5 Reasons Not to Vote for President

Still wondering whether it’s worth making the trek down to the polling precinct where the line will be wrapped around town? Here's how to know.

by Court Sullivan
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November 4, 2008
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7

Sorry Boss, It was the ‘Roids

Dear Boss, I have a confession to make. I probably should have told you a long time ago before things got out of hand: I've been taking steroids every day on the job since Day 1 (and before the job during our interviews).

by Aaron Aught
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November 3, 2008
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1

How to Deal with Cockblocks

In your never-ending quest to get laid, several natural enemies will present themselves time and time again. They are known as Cockblocks. Heed the following advice well and forget not the danger that looms.

by Lucky
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October 31, 2008
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11

I Will Demonstrate My Excitement at This Concert by Throwing Shit!

As the concert begins I will become much too over-stimulated for my own good. It is then that I will demonstrate my appreciation for the present moment by throwing shit. What kind of shit will I throw? All kinds of shit.

by Jake Roberts
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October 27, 2008
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2

How to Decontaminate Your Radioactive Hamster

There are a lot of bad things that can happen to people in this screwed-up world, but there's nothing worse than discovering your hamster is contaminated.

by Crad Kilodney
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October 24, 2008
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2

An Open Letter to Dane Cook

Mr. Cook, I can no longer sit back while your egregious blunders defame the good name of those around you. Especially the illustrious Dennis Rodman.

by Michael J. Galt
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October 21, 2008
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8

We the Drunk Chick of the United States of America

We, the people, are the drunk chick at the bar. We are expected to do very little, except pick the politician who promises us the best stuff, and then get fucked by him later.

by Aaron Freeman
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October 17, 2008
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6

Six Rules for Living Life Limp Bizkit Style

Are you a tool that no one would dare be seen with? Do you show up at parties and stand there talking to no one because you’re a creeper? Well stop living in the past and add some Limp Bizkit style to your life. You can start by doing everything for the n

by John Gillespie
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October 15, 2008
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9

I Can’t Wait to Break Your Arm

Throughout my life I have had many goals: soccer player, good student, drummer, gym teacher, guy who toasts bagels, etc. But I now see my life as having been misguided because now I know for sure that I seriously can't wait to break your arm.

by Sam Pink
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October 11, 2008
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3

Why the Hell Does Columbus Get a Holiday?

Why the hell does Columbus get a holiday? Hey, Columbus, you bastard, did you realize America was already discovered by the people living there. It didn't need discovering!

by
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October 9, 2008
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3

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Comedy Articles

Guide to Writing an Effective and Concise Opening for a Short Story While Being Concise

Ulysses S. Grant Challenges Jefferson Davis to a Duel

5 Reasons Not to Vote for President

Sorry Boss, It was the ‘Roids

How to Deal with Cockblocks

I Will Demonstrate My Excitement at This Concert by Throwing Shit!

How to Decontaminate Your Radioactive Hamster

An Open Letter to Dane Cook

We the Drunk Chick of the United States of America

Six Rules for Living Life Limp Bizkit Style

I Can’t Wait to Break Your Arm

Why the Hell Does Columbus Get a Holiday?

What I Imagined “Going to the Bar” Would Be Like When I Was 12 Years Old Versus How It Was Last Week

Meditation Can Be Anything

Five Places You Will Definitely Drive This SUV, According to the Commercials

Insufficient Reasons for Using the Bat-Signal

I Think My Pen Pal Might Be My Dog Trying to Get a Bite of a Ham Sandwich

The Rules of Fight Club Book Club

Let’s Be Bad!