I can see you, you know. I can see you staring at me from across the party, pretending that you’re not. Pretending that you don’t even notice I’m here. I know that you have me well within the limits of your periph, keeping the ever-watchful eye on me no matter what you do. I can tell what you’re thinking, you want me— NAY, you need me. I watch as you pretend to survey the room when in actuality you’re just using that as an excuse to glance at me, even for just a moment. I know what you’re doing. You, my lady, are eye fucking the shit out of me.
I’m on to you, oh yes, yes I am. I noticed how you wore that blue shirt tonight, knowing full well that my favorite color is blue. Oh, these subtle mind games that you play. You don’t think I realized when everyone lined up to play flip cup, that you chose the opposite side as me, just so you’d be able to see me across the table? Or when we played again and that you chose my side, just so that we’d be on the same team? You are one sly girl, indeed. I’m hip to your plan, little lady. You know that I’ve been drinking for a while now, just like I know how you’re waiting until I’m drunk enough to make some bad decisions before you make your move. Naughty.
I’ll play your game, you minx. I’ll deftly brush up against you as I pass you in the hallway. Is it wide enough to pass through without rubbing up against you? Sure, I guess there probably is enough room, but that isn’t what you’d want me to do. I can tell. It’s all just part of your cat and mouse game. Like when you were dancing earlier. You think I didn’t realize you chose to start dancing to my favorite song? It was so sweet of you. There were dozens of other songs you could’ve started dancing to on that Now That’s What I Call Music CD that someone popped in earlier. But no, you chose to wait until “Baby Got Back” to start dancing. Sure, you played it off as if you and your friends just decided to be goofy and start dancing, as if it were a spur of the moment decision. But I know full well that you must’ve pulled them aside earlier in the night and explained to them your scheme. All just to get my attention.
Then, of course, you slyly waited until I was looking right at you to start making out with that guy who starts on our school’s baseball team. You didn’t think I would realize that you were doing that just to make me jealous? Of course I knew that’s what you were doing. It was pretty convenient that you happened to have your eyes closed, eh? All you could do to stop yourself from staring straight at me and blowing your cover. I’m pretty impressed by your dedication, though; if I didn’t know better I almost would’ve believed you guys were really into it. I wonder how you got him to go along with your plan. I hope you didn’t have to pay him, not for little ol’ me. You know, it’s the attention to detail that I admire most. The average person wouldn’t think to actually use the tongue, but you aren’t the average person, are you? You made sure you got every detail right in our little game of seduction.
Hell, you went as far as to take him into one of the upstairs bedrooms. HA. I can picture it now, the two of you sitting on the bed just twiddling your thumbs, feigning a moan of passion whenever you figured I might happen to walk by. You showed extraordinary commitment, spending an entire 45 minutes up there. Then you displayed just how clever you were, thinking of everything from messing up your hair to having a different shirt on. I almost couldn’t hold back the laughter. If only you knew I was on to you the entire time. You could’ve saved yourself so much trouble.
I expect for you to make your move any minute now since it is getting kind of late and the party is starting to thin out. Everything so far has gone exactly how you must’ve planned, and now, my dear, is the time for the lioness to go after her prey. I see that you have your coat now; you must be getting ready to see if you can go home with me. Oh, this is rich; you’re pretending that you are leaving. Oh my dear, when will these games end? I know that any second you’ll come back in, ready to make your intentions clear to me. Any
second now.
Oh, you are good.