Hey, man.
Woof. So sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy. I know we haven’t spoken in a few months for reasons that we’ve put behind us, but I still felt like I should send my condolences. I have trouble putting something as heavy as this into words, so I’ll send my sympathies in the best way I know how: a GIF of Michael Scott from The Office.
I’m sure you must be receiving a ton of messages right now and probably don’t have the time or capacity to respond to all of them, but that’s the beautiful thing about GIFs. They’re short, sweet, and have the ability to say a thousand words all in the span of a 2-second animated loop. Plus, there are HUNDREDS of GIFs from The Office. You can search for any emotion possible and find a corresponding animation from a classic scene. For example, if you feel sad about your grandfather’s sudden death, you can just send me a GIF of Michael Scott crying in a kinda funny way.
By the way, I hope I’m not crossing a line by texting you. I know that we had a bit of a falling out last year when I said I don’t like when you “forget to invite me to things” and you said you don’t like it when I “only speak through GIFs because I’m afraid of being vulnerable.” I’m hoping we can let bygones be bygones and turn a new leaf in our friendship.
*GIF of Michael Scott with an uncomfortable grin and shifty eyes.*
I bet you’re probably busy right now dealing with the aftermath of your grandfather’s sudden, shocking death. (You definitely should file a lawsuit against that breakfast cereal company for what happened, by the way). The last time I lost someone close to me, I holed up in my apartment and watched all nine seasons of The Office. With 201 episodes, the show has explored every emotion known to man.
Why try to search for the right words when I can just search the most rudimentary of feelings on my phone and receive hundreds of compressed moving images from the hit television show The Office?
Now may not be the best time to revisit this conversation, since you’re grieving and all, but what’s your problem with my GIFs? To counter your original argument, there’s actually nothing more vulnerable than typing in a classic TV show plus an emotion, scrolling through expressive graphics, and then carefully selecting the one that best represents the feeling that confuses my body. Why do you think everyone from our parents’ generation communicates through GIFs? They didn’t have emotions back in their day! A suggestive facial expression is the best they can do.
Look, if I search “The Office angry,” I get this hilarious GIF of Dwight screaming at the camera. That’s probably how you felt when you received the news that your grandfather comically choked on his favorite breakfast cereal, right? Everyone who calls me “insensitive,” “unsympathetic,” or “an old man trapped in the body of a teen boy” is actually the problem. Not me.
*GIF of Michael Scott looking pleased with himself*
Anyway, I hope that you’re not *GIF of Michael Scott fuming* right now because I’m *GIF of Dwight looking scared* about texting you, so basically *GIF of Andy saying “Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship!”* I hope we can reconcile our differences and just *GIF of Jim and Pam kissing*.
Sorry, they didn’t have a GIF of anyone hugging so the closest thing was a kiss.
Anyway, sorry your grandfather choked on cereal, spit it out, and then slipped on it cartoon-style and died. *GIF of Michael Scott saying “That’s what she said!”*