Religion

Tag: Religion

Jesus declared, “Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, because of this table I built. See that consistent grain?”

This snowman wedding racket is a disgrace to the good name of clergymen everywhere.

Listen, I can certainly understand your surprise about all this.

I like to say we should glorify God in everything we do, but is it really “glorifying” the Lord when you’re sucking major ass in the dodgeball arena?

I’ve been in the apostles' crew for almost a year now, but Jesus still makes me wear a nametag every time we hang out.

I said I was sorry, and Sam said it was okay and that he would stop taking my iPod. This is one example of misunderstandings outside of the Torah.

Anti-Christ. Bizarro-God. The Divinaughty. Providen’t. The horn in horny. The original Pitchfork Media. The devil you know.

And she did reply, "No, they are of no concern to us. Let them wander in the desert. We shall begin… Project Babylon."

Every one of His punchlines, every expression He makes to elicit a laugh must be met with an unequivocal, unmistakable outburst. Or else.

HIRING: One male and one female of every animal. Please submit a cover letter explaining why you are the most qualified/fertile of your species.

My downstairs neighbors should give up on the thing they call a “heavy metal bagpipes band.”

“Love one another,” commanded Jesus Christ, continuing, “Does that make any sense? I feel like I’m not making sense. Sorry.”