Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

Unless the words are, like, really mean.

Or the words are “no offense” followed by other words that are, in fact, offensive.

Or the words are spoken in another language, but the tone implies that they're offensive.

Or the words are about something I feel self-conscious about, like my underbite or my current living situation with my parents.

Or the words sound gross. “Flesh” and “succulent” are both good examples of this, especially when used in the same sentence.

Or the words are too big. No one likes a show-off.

Or the words are Latin. Thanks for reminding everyone that even languages can die.

Or the words are quoted from Nietzsche. He's dead and his name is hard to spell, so who cares what he had to say?

Or the words are spoken on loudspeaker in a public area.

Or the words are spoken before 11:00 in the morning. Shut up, I'm trying to sleep.

Or the words were popularized post-2014. Oh, you're using the word “lit” now? Great, now I have to rethink being friends with a 36-year-old that uses the word “lit.”

But yeah, other than that, words will never hurt me.

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