Listen to the dramatic reading by Court Sullivan:
Do you really care about making money writing blogs? Or are you mostly into the joy of writing them, the pure artistic experience and then getting published instantaneously for the world to see? You have to soul search about this.
Having done so myself, just now, I want to make millions of dollars writing blogs. The creative process is cool but I need some serious money. I bet you crave the same.
Now that we're aligned, digest my three-part prescriptive program for making millions.
1. Write a headline that over-promises but under-delivers.
In this overly digitized world, you can be sure only blog headlines get read much. If your headline grabs, it doesn't matter what your blog says. Play the headline game like everybody else. Blog body copy is underrated, under read and, often, underwhelming. It's noise most people don't hear. At best it's scanned and forgotten. The headline is where the money is. You risk losing money if you don't manipulate your headlines egregiously and shamelessly.
By writing a provocative headline—even a sensational and misleading one—your headline could get picked up, for example, by Reddit. From there anything could happen. You could make money.
Other bloggers could read your headline and Tweet about it. A big-shot book editor could be following that blogger. In Twitter verse everything is possible. The editor could read your headline, scan your blog and decide he wants to meet you in his office in New York City. Employed by Random House, one of the world's largest book publishers, he will admit he's an admirer of your headline-writing because he thinks it could make him money. He will offer you an advance of $10,000 to write a book about writing misleading and sensational blog headlines. He believes the book could sell millions of copies.
2. Craft headlines about things no one else is writing about.
Being different sells. Look at Lady Gaga.
Let me give you a concrete suggestion. Write about the after-school programs that the kids of David Ortiz are involved with. Everybody else was writing about how great Big Papi hit to lift the Boston Red Sox to the World Series title. You could bring a fresh angle about how his kids are enrolled in trumpet lessons every Tuesday and Thursday from 4 p.m. to 5 p.m. before they head home. After having milk and Fritos, they do their homework. It would be a unique glimpse into this slugger's life. I guarantee no one else would probe this story.
Write a blog about it. Send it to the Boston Globe’s sports editor. He is obsessed with publishing anything about Ortiz because that's what sells his newspaper and feeds his family. He will publish your article and send you a check for $200. After taxes, you would pocket $72. Not bad considering the quirky story you wrote.
3. Write ridiculous stuff such as this blog.
Take the world to the outer limits of rational thought. Stretch credulity. Write about things that may or may be true and never reveal whether they are. Be willing to go where no blogger has gone before. Find a voice that no one has heard nor ever thought they wanted to. Make a pact with yourself that you will stay committed to this endeavor regardless of the critics who will question your motives, veracity, and credibility. Anticipate them asking you practical questions such as, “How do you think this is going to make you any money?”
Sling arrows at the world of conventional blogging. Toss a paper airplane from a tall building and watch it float through the air until it lands. Go to the beach and write about how flying kites is worthwhile because it soothes the soul. Go to the end of the blogging wall and shove it down. Mislead Mark, Kevin, and Bethany Sue. Crack the writing walnut. Slip a slimy raw oyster down your throat and, feeling empowered, blog more.
Do all this. Someone will notice who is willing to pay you. Add it all up and you'll be a millionaire.