Rex: Hello everybody, Rex here, on an emergency episode of Pod Save the Dinosaurs. Folks have been sending us questions about last night’s meteor explosion, and we’re going to give you all the information you’ll need to stay calm, get involved, and get through this. To start us off: Thrasher, what sources should dinos be trusting in terms of meteor news?
Thrasher: Thanks Rex. I know it’s been a pretty discouraging 24 hours for a lot of dinos, but honestly, just seeing how many other dinos also wished we hadn’t been hit by a meteor had me feeling kinda hopeful. You know?
Rex: Absolutely.
Thrasher: No surprise here, the right-wing media is already trying to downplay this, and a large segment of the population believes them. But the folks over at the New Pangea Times have some really great stuff, tracking the deaths and the ash levels in the air. Just checking on my computer right now it looks like, uh, wow, 75% percent of the population dead so far. A complete tragedy.
Tommy: GRAWRRRR
Rex: Mmm, that’s a good point, Tommy. I think a lot of dinos have trouble seeing the nuance there, but that plays further into what we’re saying, which is that if—if—we all work together, we can fix this.
Thrasher: For sure. Oh, and for those of you wondering where Spike is, the short answer is we don’t know.
Rex: Yeah, and I think it’d be easy to look at some of the numbers—the 75% figure—and say “clearly that’s Spike,” but, again, we’re just trying to work with the information we actually have.
Rex: Right.
Thrasher: So anyway, a lot of dinos are talking about “extinction,” which has become a sexy buzzword. But all we know is what the scientists are saying, which is that it’s possible that all of us will be dead by the end of the week. But Podsave’s position is that feeling panicked won’t solve the problem. If you’re feeling bad about this, take action.
Tommy: BRARGHHH
Rex: Totally. That is exactly the kind of thinking that’s going to get us out of this mess.
Thrasher: And, as Tommy was saying, your contribution can be big or small. Donate to us directly or buy one of our tote bags. We need help from everyone, so whatever it is that you’re able to pitch in, just know that your help matters.
Rex: Now, I want to address the Stegosaurus in the room, which is the dust cloud that’s blocking out the sun. How important is the sun, really?
Thrasher: Yeah, Pterodactyl Gross was saying something really interesting about that on Fresh Air the other night.
Rex: Mm yeah she’s great. I know I’d love some fresh air right now hahaha.
Thrasher: Well, my wife keeps complaining about how chilly it’s been these last few days. But the data on whether we actually need the sun is actually a little fuzzy right now. Apparently, and this is just the latest info, about 95% of all life on earth could die if the dust cloud stays, but the margin of error on that is huge, so there’s really no way to tell.
Rex: Right. I know everyone likes the sun. but it’s impossible to tell how much of a role it’s going to play in whether or not everyone dies in the next month or so.
Tommy: SCREAHGGFHH
Rex: Hahaha, Tommy you’re always the comic relief we need. Anyways, before we finish up, we wanted to leave everyone with some action items for the next week, or, if you die before then, for your remaining days. Number one: contact your representatives, because the most important thing is to make sure they know their constituents do not want to go extinct. Number two: talk to your neighbors; make sure everyone’s feeling connected right now. Winged dinos, bigger guys, smaller ones, alligators, the ocean ones. Despite our differences, we all have one common enemy, which is our collective death.
Thrasher: Right. Guys, we’re gonna get through this. We will be back with another episode on Friday—those of us who are alive at least—and until then, take care, stay safe, and think positive thoughts. We’re gonna win this!
Tommy: GRRRRUUUFFFKKKK