Select Excerpts from a Novel Written by an Author Who Doesn’t Know How to Cook
“One final touch, my dear boy,” his Grandma said, carefully placing an entire stick of butter on top of the dish.
Comedy Writing
I May Be an Ivy League-Educated Novelist, but the Denim Work Shirt in My Author’s Photo Says I’m Working Class
Whenever the sincerity of my work is doubted, I always point to my author’s photo as evidence of a life lived.
How Early You Should Arrive to Things According to Your Dad
The Airport: For domestic flights, you should wake up at 4 a.m. and drive directly to the airport, no matter what time of day the flight is.
Increasingly Obvious Titles for Young Adult Thrillers
I Didn’t Kill Jillian, Per Se, But I Am Indirectly Responsible for Her Death and While It Haunts Me, I Am Still a Redeemable Character
I Am More than My Silly Socks
Somewhere along the way, every single person I’ve ever known got the idea that silly socks were the thing I cherished most.
My Son Is a Baby and He Looks Nothing like Me
Rodney is a baby and I am an adult man. We look nothing alike. For starters, look at how much smaller Rodney is than me.
At Our Montessori School, We Offer Drug Culture Without the Drugs
By the time your child is in elementary school, they’ll be able to replace your basement door with a beaded curtain adorned with Grateful Dead skulls.
I’d Like to Be Considered for the Role of James Bond
Instead of a 007 who is handsome, smooth, and combat-trained, what if we went with a 40-year-old guy who is allergic to bees.
The 12 Steps of Recovering a Forgotten Password
Somewhere, up in the cloud someplace, there is a benevolent being that can let you back into your SubzScription account.
Summer Movie Releases as Previewed by Your Neighbor Who Is Getting a Pool
Honestly, I don’t know what I’m more excited for: a new Transformers movie or this brand new swimming pool I’m having put in my backyard.
NBA Scouting Reports of Famous Historical Figures
Jesus Christ brings a robust following as well as the ability to do some pretty amazing things off the court.
For Sale: Charming 2 Bed/2 Bath Cape Cod with Paul Reiser Room!
This room also differs from other rooms in the home in that it features multiple bronze Paul Reiser statues bolted directly to the floor.