Without Cream Cheese, the Country Will Fall
The lifeblood of American society, the oil that lubricates its gears and allows the cogs in its national wheel to turn, is cream cheese.
Comedy Writing
A Letter from Your Deprived Coronavirus Pomeranian
I eat at dawn. As soon as the sun's crescent pierces the horizon I will eat my dog chow. Or else I will go ape shit.
Announcing Phantom Fireworks’ Patriotic “We Kick Ass” Display
Our patented "Mega Explosion" technology will detonate into the shape of the Union Jack, then a middle finger, followed by the word “America.”
7 Father’s Day Activities for Abraham, the Dad Who Is Hellbent on Sacrificing You
Nothing says “Don’t sacrifice me!” like breakfast in bed. An omelet and fresh coffee is the perfect way to warm Dad up to the idea of sparing you.