Madonna to Israel: “This Used to be My Playground”
Madonna makes a spiritual quest to Israel for the Jewish New Year in hopes of once again feeling what it's like to be a virgin.
Comedy Writing
Twinkies Maker Files Bankruptcy; Millions Sit on Fat Asses
How is it possible that America's biggest junk food perpetrator has dug themselves into a cream-filled hole? Answer: too many snack breaks.
Presbyterians, Jews Agree Foreskin Not Kosher
Protestants aim to stop companies from working with Israel and no amount of talks or blowjobs will help. Circumcision is still cool though.
Europe Blames Changing Climate on Dutch Hotboxing Effect
A few melting glaciers and rising oceans later, Europe decides it's time to crack down on global warming. But first, let's burn one down.
Armed Art Thieves Tell Munch’s “The Scream” to Shutup
Norwegian bandits steal one of the world's most valuable paintings from a museum in broad daylight. Bystanders were calmer than the painting.
Nose Jobs Bridge Unemployment Gap
It seems Americans CAN agree on one thing: the 'ideal' nose. If plastic surgery keeps up this pace, the economy will be booming in no time.
Hurricane Frances Threatens Florida, Demands $16B Ransom
The East Coast's latest natural disaster has adopted the American way and decided to pressure the government in exchange for cooperation.
Insurgents Turn Off A/C in Iraq Desert
Those bastard freedom-haters are always up to something. This time it looks like the American troops will just have to rely on fans.
KFC Supplier Kidnaps Poultry, Threatens Beheading
Animal rights groups are up in arms over the latest chicken abuse. Though they do plan to release the video on the Internet soon.
Michael Moore and Bill O’Reilly Agree to Make Love, Not War
America's loudmouths put down their differences for a moment to share some passionate face time on The O'Reilly Factor (aka The Gay Test).
Lawless Leopards Murder 14 People in Bombay
Apparently the leopards in the world's fifth-largest city didn't get the memo that humans are not on the 'Animals It's OK to Murder' list.
Nation’s Capital Contracts Alzheimer’s, Forgets Reagan Died
Undeniably the most controversial and hysterical article you will read for a long time. That is, until a mockery can be made of Dubya's death.