Gold Digging Friends Use Hoes to Find Backyard Cash
Three men (and a few good-for-nothing hoes) discover $75,000 buried in their backyard. Turns out soil deposits aren't that safe after all.
Comedy Writing
Russell Crowe to Star in The Passion of the Anti-Christ
Gladiator of compassion, Russell Crowe, comes to the aid of a torched Jewish elementary school. Says Mel Gibson is 'going down baby.'
Humans Soiling Earth with All Kinds of Shit
Environmental damage to the planet we reluctantly call home is getting worse. And not just because of your nasty Taco Bell dumps.
Heinz Puts the Squeeze on Kerry Connection (Still Won’t Come Out)
Guess who John Kerry's wife is? Teresa Heinz Kerry. That's right, if Kerry wins, ketchup will become a food group.
Rapper Lil’ Kim Charged with Obstruction of Breastices
Although I've enjoyed every nasty, lying word to ever come out of her mouth, Lil' Kim is now in trouble with da law.
AOL Says Privacy Concerns in AIM Beta are None of Your Business
AIM's newest release will have some extra features, but some people are worried about 'spyware.' Are these people just being intrusive?
Whale-Dolphin Hybrid Gives Birth to Totally Confused Calf
The only wolphin in captivity has just given birth to a new baby. One can only imagine the adolescent identity crisis this calf will endure.
Muppets Bringing Peace to Israel/Palestine Say Middle East Puppet Leaders
As if American influence wasn't already overwhelming, now Elmo is supposedly carrying the will of the White House to the Middle East.
Jackson Clarifies Story: “I Told that Boy to Beat It”
Jackson's lawyers have decided to let Michael tell his own story to the jury the best way he knows: using ambiguous fragments of his songs.
Krispy Kreme Glazes Over Wal-Mart for Dough
Krispy Kreme plans to close it's trial bakeries in Wal-Mart stores for fear Southerners might look even fatter in discount wife beaters.
Early Viewers Enthralled by Gibson’s Passion, Beautiful Nazi-Blue Eyes
Mel Gibson wants to strike up some controversy huh? Maybe he should try making a movie that's not so believably anti-Semitic!
Bitch Mighta Got Doped at British Dog Show
One Doberman owner is all worked up over the possibility that her top bitch was drugged pre-show. So of course, she started bitching.