Pointless Study: Malt Liquor Drowns Worries
There's a good reason why 40's come in larger bottles: the people who drink them need a lot more beer to make their problems disappear.
Comedy Writing
Internet Daters Demand Advice to “Male Electronic Dysfunction”
As online dating picks up, along with it come the usual problems, only in different forms. Other problems include avoiding physical contact.
Fake Penis Pissed Off After Failing Urine Test
Actor Tom Sizemore won't be getting off his drug charges anytime soon using a fake penis. In fact, he won't get off period using one.
Polaroid Encourages Film Users to “Be on Ya’ll Baddest Behavior”
They could care less if you 'shake it like a Polaroid picture.' Just make sure you send copies of your wildest orgy photos.
Cell Phones Challenge Asian Females for Accident Risk
New studies show that cell phones pose a significant threat to the traditional driving impairment stereotypes like Asians and old people.
Japanese “Social Security” Dolls for Elderly to be Poorly Made in America
If toy supplies in Japan are anything like U.S. retirement security, there will probably be enough dolls to satisfy 15 lonely Japanese retirees.
Young Urban Americans Get Enthused Over Knitting (sic)
Move over Betsy Ross, the new generation of college knitters is in full swing. And they've created a style all their own...by hand.
Male Enlargement Spam Prompts Penis Envy
One man goes entirely out of control after getting fed up with spammers bashing his 'already-enhanced' penis.
Paris Hilton Sex Tape Interrupted By Fred the Pizza Guy
People across America are ordering pizza using the alias 'Paris Hilton.' But only one man delivered to the real Paris: 'It's fucking Fred.'
China Bans Nike TV Commercial, Opens New Nike Sweatshop
Apparently LeBron James is too intimidating to make his visual presence felt across China. No worries, they'll keep making his shoes anyway.
Parachute System Full of Holes, Laughs Spencer’s Gifts
A new parachute system for a PLANE? What a great gag gift for the fearful, newbie pilot in your family!
Conditions Too Dangerously Similar for Wash. Re-Enactment
Unpatriotic American actors leave the Washington Crossing re-enactment high and dry, choosing to sip hot cocoa by the fireplace.