Kids Pick Kerry to Be Next Babysitter of the World
The results are in, and the children of America have voiced their opinions through Nickelodeon. John Kerry for Babysitter 2004!
Amir Blumenfeld is a 2005 graduate of UC-Berkeley's Haas School of Business in Berkeley, CA. He now works in NYC, where he strives to live the wackiest existence humanly possible. He regularly produces his own comedy stylings at his website beingfamous.com. Amir loves waffles, and hates pancakes, so when baking him treats, be sure to use the correct iron. Amir's lifetime goal is to grow up and invent something people have already heard of; like blood, but thicker.
The results are in, and the children of America have voiced their opinions through Nickelodeon. John Kerry for Babysitter 2004!
Soldiers returning from Iraq find that partying is shallow and trivial when you compare it to the threat of death. Their loss.
Fourth-grade science projects and armed wheelbarrows force our nation's top 'something-or-other-important-dude' to get the hell out.
The City Museum in Washington got themselves into a hairy situation by hanging a nude cartoonish painting of President Bush.
How far will people go to promote public nudity? The length of Britain apparently...if it weren't for you darned police!
Drug trafficking? Are you kidding, modern Mexican gangs have more important things to worry about...like sea turtle eggs.
The government has a new reason for you to quit smoking: some companies may fire smokers. And unemployment is just as unsexy.
New research shows that even trace amounts of smoke can lower kids' math and reading scores. Parents: only buy your kids NEW clothes.
Indonesia may need a lot of help from other countries, but they also want everyone at an open arm's length. Just enough to serve food.
Alternative punishment strikes Jennifer Langston where it hurts: right in the heart. Requests for retouching were denied.
A group of foreign boys were caught masturbating in public to a sexily-dressed woman. Police blamed the victim for her outfit of course.
A simple guide to increasing your online vitality by sprucing up your away messages. You AIM lover, you.